The F word one f word be warned - Writers Forum

gordon · 01-27-2005, 07:44 PM

Finite lines are so often hung
Finished work is often left undone
Firm hands lose there grip so easily
Flavours lost in a memory
Friendship begins in ambiguity
Foremost is often last
Forewarned comes with the past
Formal ties people in
Forever is on a whim
For fucks sake
That’s it…….

Ilan Bouchard · 01-27-2005, 09:11 PM

Hehe, amusing. There were some good lines in there, and some mediocre ones. But for the style you take, as long as it wasn't supposed to be serious, then it's perfect. If it was supposed to be serious, there are some lines I'd suggest get scrapped, or something.

**Penelope** · 01-28-2005, 10:38 AM

their grip - not there grip
Other than your bit of Manchesterese - I liked it.

mammamaia · 01-28-2005, 01:36 PM

the forced rhyme and erratic line length lost me here... if a poem doesn't read easily and naturally, i tend to pass it up... but it could be a cute little piece with some work, imo... i'd title it 'f-words' though...

MisterSpider · 01-28-2005, 03:14 PM

I'm sort of lost.

The dots make me wonder if there is another part of this that you just didn't write. It reminds me of "'Tis the Voice of the Lobster" by Lewis Carroll in that the last line is purposely left unfinished so as to have the reader finish it himself by understanding the rhythm and the rhyme.

Is that what you're doing here? If so, I can't figure out the words to correctly finish the poem. Maybe because their doesn't seem to any patterned rhyme.

gordon · 01-30-2005, 07:58 PM

Misterspider
............
Thats it left to the imagination at the frustration
G