esotericdynamo

there is nothing more than what we have
if you leave i'd never breathe
instead i'd cling to the air i kept
from once when you loved me

you've become all
i can't think of another
i never pictured this,
but it's all i have. It's all i want.
Between us, there is beauty. A link of intensity
that will never fade

you make me what i am
you make me

you picked me out
before i had a chance
you let me love you
and things never changed


consumed by love
i think of nothing except you

Muzzle Q

between us.
there is beauty.
a link of intensity.
that will never fade.

---

i really like this part of your poem. keep up the grand-tastic work!

__________________
</3 nothing lasts forever but the earth and sky

statue

A bit of punctuation needs to be chanegd, and capitilization but other than that it works.

ms. vodka

the idea of keeping the air that was left, that is brilliant, and mirrors so well behaviours of the desperate.

i don't think your punctuation needs changing at all, btw. i understand exactly what you are writing.

Ms. Vodka

Pawn

Ah, the poetry of the love-stricken. What good would critique serve against such emotion?

__________________
C.A
Carpe Noctem
superlatenight.com

ms. vodka

I agree with pawn...

what purpose does punctuation serve for those who have ever loved?!!!