winterowned

Blank paper
to write on.
Thoughtless mind
to depend on.
Creativity shot,
lost words.
Nothing to gain,
naught to lose
What to do,
fight on.

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Philo

I'm not wild about the redundancy in the title. The poem is short and sweet and I didn't see any errors.

Rico

your title is somewhat redundant; perhaps you could change it a little. Also, many of your lines end with the word 'on'. is this intentional, or did that happen accidentally. It creates a very repetetive feel.

I like though how you compare writing to fighting onwards,s triving to put words down on a piece of paper

~Rico

statue

Nice piece, for its brevity it really speaks. I feel like that almost too often when you have thoughts without knowing the use of the tools to get them out as an idea.

I thought the last line was possibly too short, the only minor suggestion is to change the comma on the previous line ( I didn't think it gave the last line merit). Probably a use of the em dash instead( -- ), to broaden the influence of the last line? I don't know though maybe the comma does it justice.

winterowned

I wasn't stoked on the title to begin with. I want something shorter but not necesarily creative, kind of to match the theme. Maybe "Blank Paper" or something of the nature.

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riadohaed

I get nothing from this... a poem about nothing... i feel nothing no emotion is envoked i see no point in this... just my opinion

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"there is no light in the darkness of your furtherst reaches sink your teeth into the flesh of midnight... " - The Mars Volta

bits of my thoughts glued onto computer paper and taped onto your monitor.

winterowned

that was the idea.

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die_daily

hm, a poem about nothing. how worthless and forgettable. i'm sure you'll agree, considering it was the point.

thanks, then.

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my avatar is cooler than yours.