peterpaulino

Five Children 6-8 Years-old

The children,
why did they perish
with bodies smashed,
and legs and arms broken,
severed, scattered;
if some heads were cracked,
crushed—how would the mothers and fathers
still be able to gape at their faces?

The children,
strewn lifeless;
their remains,
how to lift them up one by one?
Blood-spattered angels,
how could anyone cuddle them some more?

God, where is he?
His heart, did it skip a beat
when the little ones were run-over?
Which is he, who is he
amidst the crowd?
Is he right behind the lids of my eyes
that are tightly shut?

I can no longer think—
even when the wailings of the passersby
are now beginning to fade
this vision of the tragedy
still wraps around my brain.

The children,
how would I tell
that they already went up to heaven?

peterpaulino

Five Children 6-8 Years Old

The children,
why did they perish
with bodies smashed,
their legs, their arms broken,
severed, scattered;
with some heads cracked,
crushed—how could the mothers and fathers
still gape at their faces?

The children,
remains strewn lifeless…
how to lift each child up
one by one?
Blood-spattered angels,
how could anyone cuddle them some more?

God, where is he?
His heart, did it skip a beat
when the little ones were run-over?
Which is he, who is he
amidst the crowd?
Is he right behind the lids of my eyes
that are tightly shut?

It is too soon to think—
even with the wailings of the passersby
now beginning to fade
tragic vision lingers
and wraps my brain.

The children,
how to know
of their arrival in heaven?

river-wind

good revision in the last line.

The forcefullness of "The children" as a repeated phrase pulls away from the impact of the poem, IMO.
The constant "Won't somebdy please think of the The Children!" as a general cry from those who try too hard to shelter everyone from everything now causes me to harden myself whenever "The Children" is called apon like a demon summoning.

Were the subject to be a bit more subtle, I would have been able to expirience the horror of it that much more. "Why did they perish" may be a fine opening line, given that the title tells us who is being talked about.

riadohaed

powerful... well done indeed

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"there is no light in the darkness of your furtherst reaches sink your teeth into the flesh of midnight... " - The Mars Volta

bits of my thoughts glued onto computer paper and taped onto your monitor.

statue

Very well written, the third stanza was remarkably modern and transcending. Towards the purpose of such a poem I'm not sure, but I feel much was said on account of belief.

peterpaulino

My, Guys! Thanks for commenting on this. It's that ogrish site my officemate have been showing me in the past days, and the recollection of my mother's story when she was a kid in high school, how a group of five students (primary schoolers) got ran-over by a truck. This piece is still open for revision.

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Reality and love are always contradictory for me! ~Before Sunset