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Poetry Poems, Haiku & Tanka etc.

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Old 01-21-2005, 03:27 PM   #1
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jggannon
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Goodbye

Goodbye


You died
I cried
A Sunday shaken
You were taken
Who sucked your soul that night
Who held you as you died

You fell I know
I saw the show
The day we came to say farewell

But the day we said goodbye
Was not masked in mourning
Two AM early morning
Drunk as fools and smiling
See ya bud you walked off smiling
Under Dublin’s morning skyline.
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Old 01-21-2005, 03:35 PM   #2
Jp
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Mourning & morning, I like using words like that too.
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Old 01-21-2005, 04:21 PM   #3
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Good poem

I agree with Jp, i really liked some of the words you used. The one thing though, the smiling, smiling. That part didnt flow as much as the rest of the poem. I really enjoyed reading it. keep up the good work.
Joe
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