Oracle

Here's a poem my friend wrote:

there fell a single tear and with it fell the pain
the pain became a river that flows but in vain
the river keeps growing throughout the years
the river became an ocean
an ocean of my fears
and in that ocean was an island with only but one peer
and as i sat on that island
there fell a single tear

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Londongrey

Hi Oracle,

Sorry to say but the rhyming is awful and the writing cliche.

I hope I haven't offended you.

Alex

flowersprite

I liked it I could relate . I am not a poet but it touches a memory.

Oracle

No offense taken. lol, like I said, my friend wrote it. I was just sitting in class, and I was on the site, and she wanted to post one of her poems. lol

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NoWorries

I agree, at the beginning, it starts out kind of cliche, but at the end it redeems itself. I like the idea that something so huge is not an isolated event and that the main character is still sad.

gordon

This is terrible cliché after cliché
Oracle
Tell your Friend to to move away from a subject done so many times so much better
G

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