huni

Gulping in air
sucking at the surface.
Waiting- always waiting
for it to come each day.
Round and round, this circular life.
Always going, always
coming back to here.
No one notices the tears.
Everyday the same- the only option
a marble slab.
I may as well stay.

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each time we see the face ...it is our own ideas of him which we recognize. Proust

penny

Nice.
We spend a lot of time pondering what comes after we die. I often wonder where we were before we came here.
Is life really such an existential nightmare?
Thanks so much for your courage. You are very honest in your writing.

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It took a disease, taking my mobility from me to see further and clearer than when I could take that trip and see nothing. My spirit grows beyond my body. I am new again in this discovery of my internal landscape and its meanings.

Rkay

Hey Huni,
I probably should do this when it's earlier in the day.
I am sure that there are aspects of this reading that I am missing out on.
And I will come back later after a good night's rest to interact with your wonderful poem...
Ricky

Holls

I really like this poem - very effective,

Especially love the last line. It captures perfectly how I feel practically every day: like this life is a lack of better options.

Great work.

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Give me ambiguity. Or give me something else.

Penelope

I read this last night before I went to work and have to tell you that it stayed with me. There's something really compelling in these thoughts and words. So many ways to interpret.

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"Trees cause more pollution than automobiles do." Ronald Reagan ~ 1981

Poetry Editor @ Sacred Twilight

DieBaronVonHobskewward

Real cool write!

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Die Baron Von Hobskewward

MAKE ME.

Rkay

Okay! Good morning!
Yep it still is a wonderful read.
And that marble slab, Wow! That just flew past my dopey head last night.
But the coldness and aloofness of it's look and feel has given the poem's message an telling counterpoint.
Good job my friend,
Ricky

huni

Ricky, thanks for calling this a wonderful poem. I've been reading yours and I'm pretty impressed with them. Love your erudite and charming comments as well. I doubt you have a dopey head. huni.

penny, this poem had a very simple, innocent genesis. In my attempt to be subtle and oblique it seemed to become a metaphor for something much deeper - life. Hence my title. And no, I personally am optimistic about life and living and love it. I find it joyous personally but do feel the human experience of all of us deep inside me. I guess that's where I get the empathy I need for my work. Thank you for reading it penny. huni.

Wow Holls, ta. I love you. Not like rashadow - poor boy. But you have fast become a favourite of mine. Thanks for stopping by. huni

Pen, indeed - so many ways. You would appreciate what inspired this. lol. thanks friend.
h.
Die, boy - 'cool' from Cool. thanks.

__________________
each time we see the face ...it is our own ideas of him which we recognize. Proust

Pats

I like this, a lot. It's very deep.

I'm going to ponder it a while and read it again.

__________________
"Nobody makes a greater mistake than he who did nothing because he could only do a little."
---Edmund Burke

penny

huni,
You inspire me!

__________________
It took a disease, taking my mobility from me to see further and clearer than when I could take that trip and see nothing. My spirit grows beyond my body. I am new again in this discovery of my internal landscape and its meanings.

Beatrice Boyle

Huni dear...you took the words right out of my mouth...only in my case I say: It's tough to grow old...but when you think of the alternative......!

Being raised in a funeral home...I especially related to that "marble slab"...saw it every day!

Thanks for the chuckle...bet you didn't expect that!

Bea

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To a Sr. Citizen, age is an attitude, not a number...To the young, attitude will get you fired!

huni

Pats, ponder away -it pleases me no end when what I write gets people pondering. thanks

Penny, I love that we can inspire each other. I love your comment.

Bea, I have many friends with your 'life experience'. The ones I love the best know how to love life and laugh in it, no matter what. I always suspected you would be one of the ones I would love the best, if I knew you. So no, I was not surprised at your reaction, but pleased. huni.

__________________
each time we see the face ...it is our own ideas of him which we recognize. Proust

Rkay

LMAO! You haven't spent a whole day with me and catch me in my zonked out state. And boy can I get in a mood as well.....

By the way, when I say "wonderful" that stems from my experience of a particular poem - and may not reflect an expert critic's assessment. It's an honest expression of what the poem has given me and how it moved me.

And well, thanks for using the word 'erudite', it's one of those little words that give me a buzz! I know I'm silly and weird..... but some words have the power to lift my spirits. That's one of them.

Will read and respond to your poems again sometime soon,

Ricky

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Poets never die_____________________________________