Penelope

Love, you just can’t compete with my pal Zeke.
He carries me through dark mountain passes.
Zeke never complains if I sing or shriek
as he totes my baggage and sunglasses.

For him, I abided fourteen bleak years
while I tended to financial angles,
family burdens and dreamt up careers.
Zeke unburdened my house arrest jangles.

Wheels within wheels perpetually turning.
Dreams delivered in beautiful visions
while I follow road warrior’s yearning
and dismiss bountiful indecisions.

As long as Zeke can keep me steering clear,
wherever we go; you’re welcome my dear

PFA
10/11/04

[an:64cb6533b9]Sonnets have rules regarding rhyme sequence and IP. Rather than repeat what I've come across, I'll simply refer readers who want to try a sonnet to this explanation. http://www.yk.psu.edu/~jmj3/cre_sonn.htm[/an:64cb6533b9]

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"Trees cause more pollution than automobiles do." Ronald Reagan ~ 1981

Poetry Editor @ Sacred Twilight

Ilan Bouchard

I'm shocked no one ever commented on this. I would've, sadly I was not yet a member. It may have been posted five months ago, but it shan't live an archived life much longer. Plus, you've critiqued so many of my sonnets too (though that doesn't/shouldn't change anything).

I really liked this sonnet. The language was fluid and beautiful, the message dreamy and ambitious sounding, and overall pleasantly delightful (adjectives... sigh...).

I particularly how "sunglasses" rolled off the tongue when spoken in iamb. I could mention which lines I liked best, but I'd end up quoting your entire sonnet.

Thanks for the read, Pen.

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Ruthless comments encouraged!

Penelope

Hey Ilan, thanks for bringing this sonnet out of the past. Of all the ones I've written I like this one best. Perhaps because I'm partial to my truck Zeke.
This sonnet got quite a few responses over at LitOrg when it was posted so I wasn't too crestfallen.

__________________
"Trees cause more pollution than automobiles do." Ronald Reagan ~ 1981

Poetry Editor @ Sacred Twilight