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| Poetry Poems, Haiku & Tanka etc. |
10-25-2004, 02:31 PM
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#1
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Addict
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Ohio
Posts: 185
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The Urgency of Now!
Urgency of Now!
In time, our lives forever change
Cradled in the arms of the moon
Tucked in by a blanket sky
The urgency of tonight
Right now, tomorrow will never come
And the lullabies have no gist
Lying with you still
A moment now, tomorrows change
Some things, must surely have to end
And if we were to die right now
Did we take it for all it’s worth?
To hear the echoes in parallel
In the silence of the world
For now, I have the sense of touch
Electric infusions spark with purpose
To tingle in the authority to be afraid
Only guarantee is the present, a gift
It is the urgency of now!
Tomorrow may never come
But, tonight I am here with you
This moment they can’t change
And if you hold my hand right now
I’ll care not for what tomorrow brings
And if you hold me tight right now
Live in a thoughtless thought
A snapshot of life burned into time
Uncertainty is powerless tonight.
C. Thomas 2004
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10-26-2004, 03:55 PM
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#2
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Adept Writer
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Athens, al
Gender: Male
Posts: 943
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Thomas,
I enjoyed your poem.
I am bugged by these few things....
Only guarantee is the, "present" , a gift
Present's, a gift
And if you hold me, "tight right "now
Live in a, "thoughtless thought"
Other then those problems I like it...
__________________
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All I know I know because I have the fortune or misfortune of having to teach myself. -- Yehthatsme
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10-26-2004, 04:16 PM
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#3
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Addict
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Ohio
Posts: 185
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ty
however, all those are play on words, and intended.
Chris.
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10-26-2004, 04:40 PM
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#4
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Forum Hottie
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Florida
Gender: Female
Posts: 7,522
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I enjoyed it Tomcat, I also enjoyed the play of words. Sweet poem.
Nae
__________________
Years of practice only to find, practice is for amateurs. Live life without a script...
Renae L. Soler
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10-26-2004, 04:54 PM
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#5
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Best Seller
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Oregon again
Gender: Female
Posts: 744
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I enjoyed it. One thing the line "In the silence of the world" sticks out like a sore thumb. Restructuring it a little would make it flow a little better in my opinion.
__________________
I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night. -Sarah Williams
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10-27-2004, 01:38 PM
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#6
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Penguin-in-Chief
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Edinburgh
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,530
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The theme is a little done-to-death, don't you think? That said, it is a damn good theme and the kind of thing I myself might well write about. Stylistically, this poem seems to me a mixture of the good and the mediocre. The line ending 'echoes in parallel' made my day though.
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