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Go Back   Writers Forum - WritingForums.com > Creativity > Poetry
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Poetry Poems, Haiku & Tanka etc.

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Old 09-11-2004, 07:43 AM   #1
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Join Date: Sep 2004
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carlosox
The Blowfly

This is a cross between formal poetry and haiku. How do you like it guys ?

The blowfly died
Belly up
The window pane lied
Inviting it to sup
From the glorious outside
Through its crystal face

I composed this after seeing a blowfly dead at the bottom of a window after many days of trying to fly through the window. It was real uncanny-the verses just kept popping into my brain as soon as I saw the fly. I am thinking of investing in a PDA with speech to text application included so that I do not miss anything the next time my mind wants to get poesy !!!
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Old 09-11-2004, 09:47 AM   #2
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Penelope is an unknown quantity at this point
This is.. well .. I almost didn't open up the thread because of the title .. but .. this is good! Really! Would I lie to you?

Why is it good? You are juxtoposing ugly thoughts with beautiful ones .. your description of the window is the other end of the see-saw. It's darkly amusing too. Some folks don't care for that but I know a few here who will.
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Old 09-11-2004, 07:00 PM   #3
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carlosox
Thanks Penny
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