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Poetry Poems, Haiku & Tanka etc.

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Old 09-09-2004, 11:18 PM   #1
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brokenpieces
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Life Isn't Over

Don't let the title deceive you.. the poem is not that Life Isn't Over, it's just a title. theres a far bigger meaning (well to me.. some might not understand). so review.. i've had a shitty ass day, and I don't feel like being all happy go lucky.. so ya get what ya get enjoi!

meL*


Life isn't over, life is only over;
When the life is sucked from your body,
The blood in your veins stop dripping to the floor.
When you are lying on the floor,
Trying to catch your breath.
Grasping, reaching for the hope in the clouds,
The heaven everyone says is truly above.

Life seems much more simpler,
When the blade is pressed against your wrist,
And your worries flow with your blood.
Emptying your system, slowly.
Every breath feels like your last,
But more keeps flowing through.
The blood draining from your body,
Like a slow dialysis machine,
Pulling the life in a slow motion form.

Watching yourself float away,
From high up in the sky.
Watching the ones that claimed to love you, grieve.
Everyone you know hated you, cry.
The popular and the jocks finally understand why.
Why people are dying,
One after another, and they're not their friends.
Why people are dying,
When they know it's really them.

Life isn't over, life is only over;
When the life is sucked from your body,
The blood in your veins stop dripping to the floor.
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Old 09-10-2004, 11:04 AM   #2
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What do you want me to say? This is angst angst angst. Not badly written angst, but angst regardless. Poetry written on a really, really bad day is often stuff you want to write in your journal or whatever and never expose anyone too, unless you can make it sufficiently personal and unique to interest the reader. I can't stand the music that has these lyrics, and nor do I like this poem. A friend of mine, Ewan, who's currently standing around the PC, had these thoughts for you: "This guy is fucked up, man."
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Old 09-10-2004, 04:52 PM   #3
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I'm not going to say what I usually say is i dont care, because for me.. this is all i write. angst is my thing, and no it doesnt go in my journal. this is like my journal. yes, i am messed up(i know that after years of being told so and ACCEPTING IT), and I'm not a "guy" as your friend said.

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I can't stand the music that has these lyrics, and nor do I like this poem.
honestly, i didn't know there was music, cuz this isnt lyrics. i will say this for my own kindness and for the own good of my heart.. thank you for commenting. atleast it was something.

meL*
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Old 09-11-2004, 01:51 PM   #4
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Then you are doomed to eternally poor poetry.
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