Anyachan

Alluring,
With that platinum skin exposed,
As you strip for your bath,
Alluring,
A reflection on the steamy windows.

Ambrosial,
Exiting the shower stall,
As you reach for a cloth,
Ambrosial,
A reflection on the tiled wall.

So lovely,
With that look of stark surprise,
With your neck in my hands,
So lovely,
My reflection in your bulging eyes.

HerHero

Gosh...tough call for the title, but I loved the poem

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"..so here's a song about the best day i ever had..."
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artsy: http://sorryaboutyourheart.cjb.net
release: http://www.xanga.com/home.aspx?user=...le_heart_break
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mom. dad. i'm....emo **gasp**

Anyachan

But why?

Farror

Why is it a tough call for the title? Or why does he love it? If it's for the title, perhaps because it's your poem, so if you have trouble naming it, so will he.

If it's why he loves it, then you sound an awful lot like your begging for compliments.

Your poem was good. I enjoyed it. My only suggestion is to perhaps "bulging" is not the right word for the ending. Your title? Would "Allure" work? It's obvious, but titles often are.

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A minifridge... The doll house of the alcoholic.

gordon

Psycho revisited done to death strangled in the shower
OK poem nothing new
A Little shaky in parts
Especially the bulging line
Platinum skin is this meant to convey precious?
Ambrosial OK
The rest was nothing new
As I said before pardon the cliché
Done to death
G

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One thing in life is certain you wont get out alive

americanwriter

I don't get it. What is all this dark, death, foreboding, murder suicide crap that everyone seems bent on? Not just poetry, but short stories, longer works of fiction.

It just gets very tiring after a while. Must be an wholly unpleasant state of mind to be in on a constant basis. I didn't like this poem. It's pretentious and sounds like someone just writing it for the attention. Most dark works of this kind come across this way.

I find it hard to believe you find many publishers actually wanting to put this stuff to print in their mags.

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To know what you prefer, instead of humbly saying "Amen" to what the world tells you you ought to prefer, is to keep your soul alive -- Robert Louis Stevenson

http://oneamericanlife.blogspot.com

Anyachan

It's cathartic.

(edit)

This particular poem was born out of a need to purge myself of some negativity. I think that this is a healthier practice than say, walking around with a chip on my shoulder. And had you bothered to look more closely, you may have caught the joke.

You are, of course, entitled to your opinion, and I appreciate that you took the time to let your feelings regarding this poem be known. That being said, this is not the proper place to rant about your personal pet peeves, nor to post speculations regarding the author's publishing prospects.

If you -must- reply to any of my future works, then I would appreciate it if you kept your focus and offered some criticism that I could actually use.

Anyachan

I suppose. But it was fun to write.