Venus Pools (ABCDerian) - Writers Forum

huni · 07-31-2004, 04:07 AM

Three Girls Bathe in Venus Pools. ABCDerian

Acting on a fanciful whim,
bathing in a sylvan pool, the're
coming here to live out a dream,
darkened only by shadows cool.

Everglades of Constables ilk
fail to mirror the beauty here.
Gums of honey, shade skins of milk while
happiness ripples on water clear.

Into this idyll flash tiny bush bees,
just as the cockatoos enter the glen.
Kissing each blossom with comical ease and
lifting their wings like perfect showmen.

Molly reaches and lifts her smock
Nellie reacts with a giggle of joy
over her head pulls her wet poplin frock
Penny divest of all but her coy.

Quiet, now descends on this lovely scene
resting on rocks older than time.
Smoothed by waters that come from between
towering rockface and soft wild thyme.

Undoing hair pins and just like girls,
vying with each other for the curliest falls.
Wishing, each one, for wedding furls.
Xavier told them last night at the ball,

“You’ll know whom I love, when I’m back from the war.”
Zulu wars could undo them all.

Tori · 07-31-2004, 04:37 AM

Very interesting and thought provoking! I have no idea what ABCDerian is and feel almost embarassed to say so as if I should

But I think you are saying that times never change? Or are you saying that with war comes the risk of dreams not being fullfilled? Sylvan pool is a reference to a modern day pool (though I'm not even sure that is correct) and yet you go back in time with your graphic descriptions...oh very interesting indeed! This one made me think even if I am WAY off base on your intended meaning.

huni · 07-31-2004, 05:10 AM

How nice of you to read this! Thank-you. Please don't be embarrassed, until last week I never knew what an ABCDerian was. Pen has been putting poems on with this special from. That is, each line starts with a letter of the alphabet. Starting with a all the way though till z. I thought I would try one. Why don't you give it a try Tori?
Sylvan is a term usually applied to woodland scenery and is in fact an old fashioned word. I used it to set up my poem, placing it, as you rightly worked out in the 1800's.
The area I speak of is, The Venus Pools in a small range of mountains here in Australia. They are truly lovely and every time I visit them I swim in them and dream of olden times or wood nymphs or something equally romantic.

I can't help my self. You are right that war comes and we risk losing people and dreams. I am so glad a poem of mine made some one think.

thanks Tori, regards huni.

nae411 · 07-31-2004, 08:03 AM

Huni, wonderful!!! You did it! (and thankfully you didn't wait for mine first, woosh) I haven't even started. Pen, Alphadog, now you, I am almost embarrassed

to post mine (whenever I start it).

This was good! Way to go girl, you all rock!!!

Nae =D>

huni · 07-31-2004, 08:15 AM

Wow! the clapping guy. Ta. Nae, you just have to post one now

, I can't wait to see what you do. I must tell you, remember Pen saying she started with the first word and didn't really know where it was going. Well that is true. I had no idea I would in up in the Boer war. It was fun and gave me the confidence to right another poem the same day. Oh! that's today. You should see my house, everything a mess as I wrote all day. anyway we are waiting girl. regards huni.

nae411 · 07-31-2004, 08:19 AM

Huni,
I will try, but nobody better make fun of me or I will beat them up!

Nae

huni · 07-31-2004, 08:29 AM

I'm just so scared of that sweet face. I'm shaking here ... with laughter. h.

nae411 · 07-31-2004, 08:36 AM

Hey, hey, thank you for the sweet face, thing, But I am strong

and pack a mean punch!!! I am stuck on O right now...

Nae the boxing queen

Tori · 07-31-2004, 01:08 PM

Ahha! Yes, yes I was VERY far off the mark! hehehe
Very interesting...I didn't even see the pattern

I don't think I will attempt one as I am not really a poet but I do enjoy reading and messing up what the poet wanted his or her poem to say....hehehehe

huni · 07-31-2004, 07:10 PM

No worries Tori, love your sense of humour. So you must write stories, yes. I get a bit busy to read many of them, but I will try to catch some of your work. regards huni.

Wild Flower · 07-31-2004, 11:13 PM

You and Nae, what talent for words..great job!

huni · 08-01-2004, 08:27 AM

I'm sure we thank you wildflower and for reading them as well. I like your sig, by the way, I am learning to believe it. regards huni.

peterpaulino · 08-02-2004, 12:42 AM

GOSH HUNI! Why didn't I find this one in lit? This is very very good, will definitely go to my collection of cutesy poems. I know what ABCDerian is. ;D

**Penelope** · 08-02-2004, 01:12 AM

Yahoo! Huni! This is great!

**Penelope** · 08-05-2004, 01:54 PM

This one too huni. If it's okay let me know.