-laughs a bit-
I liked the ending. Seemed deep throughout the poem but had that small hint of care free to it that set the ending just well.
One thing I saw that didn't agree with my eye (I do the same friggin thing all the time, believe me.)
is the word 'Lest'
From the rest of the poem the word choice does not really set up for a midevil feel, if you catch my meaning. I've been told (not by people who have been taught) that if you want to use those kind of words in your poem, its best to go the whole nine yards then use a couple. If you use a couple it stands out (apparently) like a sore thumb.
(of course I saw more of a sore pinky, get me?)
other than that, I see no major problems or anything.
I liked the way you spaced this poem, FINALY some neat spaced poem that catches the readers attention. Plenty of breathing for the reader with those spaces. Your rhymes were good, you kept original
Quote:
Stretched across every page
Taught emotions feelings love or rage
|
every reader expects 'love and hate' so basically . . . you didn't do that. Grats!
And now as my computer grips my neck as it falls into a stupid shutdown thingy or something. I'll bid you adue n stuff.
Thanks for your post,-- a good read!
P.S Check out 'Unfolding The Child' it should be lurking down here in the poems section, or on the other page. Its a good read too, I assure! No need to rush to it or anything, just . . . -wide smiles- take yer time and enjoy.
-Thanks
Hiiiis name is Koooe--No! MAAII NAAYYMM IIIS KOOOEEEY!!!!--Randomness, the only option
I gave this one a second read to capture and understand all you were saying. 
