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| Poetry Poems, Haiku & Tanka etc. |
06-03-2004, 12:25 PM
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#1
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Addict
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Hick Town BC
Posts: 119
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Angel Within
I’m mightier than your foul kings
Human on the outside, Angel within
I’m your good luck charm, a walking gift
When I’m around, all things lift
I created the sky, I created the sun
Glory is my idea of fun
I’m the latest, greatest peace
The one to teach against blasphemy
I'll promise you heaven
You won’t go to hell
I will not tempt
You'll just have to tell
I'm not broken, I’m not twisted
You're gonna love the day you knew I existed
I'm the soft hearted king in your parade
You’ll be spared however long you've prayed
I’m the good one who'll create each dream
I’m the cool, kind cat with the whipped cream
My kinda heaven is the opposite of hell
Gonna save you from that dark, dark spell
I’m mightier than your foul kings
The one that’ll tell you of great, great things
Human on the outside, Angel within
You know you're gonna win so don’t give in…
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~AngelsKry2
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06-03-2004, 01:30 PM
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#2
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Prolific Writer
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: England
Gender: Male
Posts: 413
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I dont think an angel would say "bullsh*t", other than that it's good.
Fave part:
Quote:
I’m your good luck charm, a walking gift
When I’m around, all things lift
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06-03-2004, 01:37 PM
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#3
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Forum Hottie
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Florida
Gender: Female
Posts: 7,522
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I liked it.
This was good. Had alot of interesting things to think about. Things that make you go, hmm? Good write.
__________________
Years of practice only to find, practice is for amateurs. Live life without a script...
Renae L. Soler
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06-03-2004, 02:20 PM
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#4
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Addict
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Hick Town BC
Posts: 119
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I edited it for you tekp. Does that look better?
__________________
~AngelsKry2
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06-03-2004, 02:24 PM
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#5
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Prolific Writer
Join Date: May 2004
Posts: 367
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I liked it... made me think of Lucifer... traditionally the most beautiful angel...
have you put it to music? I think it ought to be... I can see this as a song...
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06-03-2004, 04:01 PM
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#6
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Addict
Join Date: Jun 2004
Gender: Female
Posts: 124
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I really liked it great flow and concept I really really enjoyed this read
Cathy
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Catherine Sawyer
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06-03-2004, 04:28 PM
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#7
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Prolific Writer
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Muskogee, Oklahoma
Posts: 357
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angel
you ain't kryan on this one are ya? i like it, i like it a lot!
santiago
__________________
Yo quiero más que Taco Bell...
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06-04-2004, 01:31 AM
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#8
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Prolific Writer
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: England
Gender: Male
Posts: 413
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yeh that's better, it flows a lot better now
nice one 
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06-04-2004, 05:59 PM
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#9
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Addict
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Hick Town BC
Posts: 119
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Hey it's no prob. And no Kryar, I wasn't "krying" in this one, I'm glad you liked it.
__________________
~AngelsKry2
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