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I Married A Bald Guy by: Susan Sparks
Why, oh why
Did I marry a bald guy?
Just what is it that I see
In a head that is so shiny?
It doesn't seem to bother him
His waxy head is as sweet as the butt of a cherubim.
So what if he doesn't have hair--
So his head's just a wee bit threadbare.
He tells people he's not really bald;
I don't really know what else it could be called.
He says he's just "follicly challenged."
I say he's just temporarily deranged.
He lets me snip, snip on his hair
If I messed up, who'd really care?
When I cut his hair it's a guarantee
That I can't commit a catastrophe.
It'll grow back in a couple of days
In the meantime there are so many ways
We can cover up my little mistake--
At least he won't have to comb his hair with a rake.
There are benefits to having no hair
Like having an attitude that is devil-may-care.
Look at all the money he saves on shampoo.
Shave your head so you can do it too.
If I believed in reincarnation
Then I would have no hesitation
To come back as a hairless male;
I'm sure I'd get my haircuts on a sliding-scale.
I know why
I married a bald guy.
It's so I can rub his beaming pate--
What a wonderful way to get intimate.
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