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Poetry Poems, Haiku & Tanka etc.

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Old 10-09-2003, 07:43 AM   #1
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You will always have me

When your weary legs can take you no farther
When your arms have no strength to hold
When that road you travel gets no shorter
And you can find no shelter from the cold
When you stand in a crowded street
And not one recognizable face can you see
Where amongst these people you might be lonely
Turn around, you will always have me

I’ll be the one to soothe all your aches
And I will take away all of your pain
You will only need to ask once of me
You’ll never need to ask again
No matter how alone you might feel
Take no notice of how others will be
You need not be aware of those that surround you
Turn around, you will always have me


for Stephen... as if you didn't know.
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Old 10-09-2003, 08:31 AM   #2
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Lovely Holly. I thought it was sweet and simple. Full of a single, heartfelt desire. I think it may have been a bit wordy (particularly the last line of each stanza), but it didn't hurt the flow too much.
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Old 10-09-2003, 01:00 PM   #3
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I like this Hollyoake. It made me think of Rudyard Kipling's poems for some strange reason. I can hear a voice reciting this with sincerity.
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Old 10-09-2003, 03:34 PM   #4
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A comforting poem... To tell you the truth, I am "sorry", but in the beginning it reminded me of Pen's comment on Freaky feet. *smiles wide* It was quite funny. I love it though. Words ring clear in my ears!
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Old 10-10-2003, 01:04 AM   #5
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I of course, LOVED it Holly...my my, an unashamedley sentimental poem/verse. Hooray for our side!
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Old 10-10-2003, 01:53 AM   #6
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A poem from the heart, accentuated by it's simplicity and rythmic flow...I for one have nothing against sentimentalism.

One other thing though, beacuse of it's inherent rythmic lyricism, this poem, sung in a certain fashion accompanied by a guitar, could well turn into a beautiful song...
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Old 10-10-2003, 01:59 AM   #7
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thank you all, you have quelled my fear that i was 'drying up'

... and it is a great poem isn't it!!, i think the best in my portfolio so far!
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Old 10-10-2003, 04:25 AM   #8
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You know, I didn't find this poem sentimental at all. It was more like a pledge. Now, to me, pledges take confidence in self, determination, integrity, strength and pride of declaration. Nothing sentimental about that at all.
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Old 10-10-2003, 08:54 AM   #9
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A very nice poem. It's flow is wonderful, and it gets across great emotion. Well done!
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