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| Poetry Poems, Haiku & Tanka etc. |
10-09-2003, 07:43 AM
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#1
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Writing Machine
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: not actually IN mumsville... uk really!
Posts: 1,633
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You will always have me
When your weary legs can take you no farther
When your arms have no strength to hold
When that road you travel gets no shorter
And you can find no shelter from the cold
When you stand in a crowded street
And not one recognizable face can you see
Where amongst these people you might be lonely
Turn around, you will always have me
I’ll be the one to soothe all your aches
And I will take away all of your pain
You will only need to ask once of me
You’ll never need to ask again
No matter how alone you might feel
Take no notice of how others will be
You need not be aware of those that surround you
Turn around, you will always have me
for Stephen... as if you didn't know.
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10-09-2003, 08:31 AM
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#2
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Prolific Writer
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Mountain-y Place
Posts: 271
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Lovely Holly. I thought it was sweet and simple. Full of a single, heartfelt desire. I think it may have been a bit wordy (particularly the last line of each stanza), but it didn't hurt the flow too much. 
__________________
"The trouble with poets is they talk too much."
-Paul Mulvey
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10-09-2003, 01:00 PM
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#3
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WF Supporter!
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Vancouver - Canada
Posts: 8,904
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I like this Hollyoake. It made me think of Rudyard Kipling's poems for some strange reason. I can hear a voice reciting this with sincerity.
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10-09-2003, 03:34 PM
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#4
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Profound Writer
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: New Jersey, USA
Posts: 1,002
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A comforting poem... To tell you the truth, I am "sorry", but in the beginning it reminded me of Pen's comment on Freaky feet. *smiles wide* It was quite funny. I love it though. Words ring clear in my ears!
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~Steven-Denmark~
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"Remember Forever and Never Forget"
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"You're never too old for Rock'N'Roll, because it's in your heart and in your soul."
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10-10-2003, 01:04 AM
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#5
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Mentor
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 1,776
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I of course, LOVED it Holly...my my, an unashamedley sentimental poem/verse. Hooray for our side! 
__________________
To a Sr. Citizen, age is an attitude, not a number...To the young, attitude will get you fired!
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10-10-2003, 01:53 AM
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#6
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Writer
Join Date: Oct 2003
Gender: Male
Posts: 41
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A poem from the heart, accentuated by it's simplicity and rythmic flow...I for one have nothing against sentimentalism.
One other thing though, beacuse of it's inherent rythmic lyricism, this poem, sung in a certain fashion accompanied by a guitar, could well turn into a beautiful song...
__________________
O muse!
Sing in me, and through me tell the story
Of that man skilled in all the ways of contending...
A wanderer, harried for years on end...
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10-10-2003, 01:59 AM
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#7
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Writing Machine
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: not actually IN mumsville... uk really!
Posts: 1,633
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thank you all, you have quelled my fear that i was 'drying up'
... and it is a great poem isn't it!!, i think the best in my portfolio so far!
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10-10-2003, 04:25 AM
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#8
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WF Supporter!
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Vancouver - Canada
Posts: 8,904
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You know, I didn't find this poem sentimental at all. It was more like a pledge. Now, to me, pledges take confidence in self, determination, integrity, strength and pride of declaration. Nothing sentimental about that at all.
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10-10-2003, 08:54 AM
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#9
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Best Seller
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Florida, USA
Posts: 656
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A very nice poem. It's flow is wonderful, and it gets across great emotion. Well done!
__________________
"Excellence in all things, and all things to the glory of God."
- Motto of Coral Ridge Presbyterian Church
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