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Poetry Poems, Haiku & Tanka etc.

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Old 09-29-2003, 04:22 PM   #1
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Darkshine
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Mountain Town

*Note: This poem was inspired by the writing that Jasmine, Hollyoake, and Penelope were doing about their homes. Also, I am writing about my real home, not my current residence (college town filled with cows). Writing about Greeley would just be disgusting.*


When I walk outside my door
I breathe in the air.
(Crisp mountain air!)

The morning sun is rising opposite
the towering monsters of the West.
They look so intimidating in the morning light.
But I chuckle because inside the beast
I find boredom!

Looking around the block I see,
older houses,
trees with their own personalities.
Ragged, disjointed cement blocks
line the street.
I'm so glad to be living somewhere
without the white houses,
and picket fences.
Some may call it trashy
(white trashy, to be specific)
but I just call it home.

I think as the sun is rising,
about unearned infamy.
The way they all analize,
this place that's part of me.
Watching teenagers walk to school
I know everywhere it's all the same.
But everywhere else
they think we're different.

Oh no,
just ordinary people
in an ordinary "mountain town".
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Old 09-29-2003, 04:30 PM   #2
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Fantasia
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Ooh, this is delightful and whimsical. I appreciate the witticm that you put in this.

A breath of fresh air.
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Old 09-29-2003, 04:33 PM   #3
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gordon
Its good very visual and the social comment reflects well
Nice write
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Old 09-29-2003, 04:39 PM   #4
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Darkshine
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Thank you both for your optimistic words. I'm glad I could do my home justice.

Gordon- It is social commentary, I didn't want it to be real loud, but it's there. If you fully understand that I am glad. Subtly is the name of the game for the point I'm getting across. If the reader misses it, that's cool too. I'd like to think there's more to my writing than points to be gotten.
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