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| Poetry Poems, Haiku & Tanka etc. |
09-25-2003, 11:24 PM
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#1
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Administrator
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: New York
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,207
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my little brittle poisen pen
note; a poem I wrote in jest
My poison pen
In red I write
To rip and tear
And scratch and bite
I lay to waste
In all great haste
Unruly verse not to my taste
Like Shakespeare, Chaucer, Wordsworth too
I know what’s best for all of you
So take my criticisms for what they are
From that of a pompous puffed up pseudo star
Chop, chop, chop, rip, rip, rip
My pens out of ink
Lickity lick, lick, lick
__________________
Nature weeps, the devil sings
at man’s greed and pride
and what it brings
Just lots of useless
little things…
God is Dead; He died yesterday from Nothing...
http://theoddvillepress.com
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09-25-2003, 11:28 PM
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#2
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Best Seller
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: New places
Gender: Private
Posts: 598
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Very tight, very enjoyable as usual, Bob. I wish there was some way to break down the word criticisms, becuase it's far too many syllables(just in general). Also, I liked your alliteration in the end, and it had the concise, chopped tone that a tearer of verse would have. Very, very well done.
-Kitten
__________________
Cadmus: Poor child, like a white swan warding its weak old father, why do you clasp those white arms about my neck?
Euripides; 'The Bacchae'
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09-25-2003, 11:37 PM
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#3
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Mentor
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 1,776
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__________________
To a Sr. Citizen, age is an attitude, not a number...To the young, attitude will get you fired!
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09-26-2003, 05:27 PM
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#4
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Administrator
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: New York
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,207
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Thank you ladies, the devil and I had a little fun.
warmest regards,
bob
__________________
Nature weeps, the devil sings
at man’s greed and pride
and what it brings
Just lots of useless
little things…
God is Dead; He died yesterday from Nothing...
http://theoddvillepress.com
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09-26-2003, 06:04 PM
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#5
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WF Supporter!
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Vancouver - Canada
Posts: 8,904
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er ... Bob? .. oh never mind
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