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| Poetry Poems, Haiku & Tanka etc. |
09-25-2003, 06:55 AM
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#1
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Addict
Join Date: Sep 2003
Posts: 140
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the bin man
He takes out the rubbish.
He's looking pretty sluggish.
I think he needs a pee.
I'll offer him some tea.
I can't do anymore of this.
I really need a piss.
I want to go home.
I need to use the phone.
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09-25-2003, 07:01 AM
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#2
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Member
Join Date: Sep 2003
Posts: 18
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This poem touches me everytime I read it! From something that seems simplicit, it deepens in meaning. I love the third person - first person narrative in which language style such as taboo and euphemism are juxtaposed. I see a theme in which alienation is fought against by human beings from the inside battling against the outside.
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09-25-2003, 07:03 AM
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#3
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Addict
Join Date: Sep 2003
Posts: 140
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I love your use of words that don't exist, yet. Simplicit is such an excellent word, no concept. Simple and implicit yet evoking a whole range of emotions and ideas.
__________________
My king! my Jove! I speak to thee, my heart!
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09-25-2003, 03:27 PM
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#4
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Addict
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: England
Posts: 125
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Awww, isn't this a sweet, sweet dialogue...
If I had a temper I might be sucked into it, but I am in love and have a sense of peace within.
LMAO
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09-25-2003, 03:29 PM
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#5
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Prolific Writer
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: NJ
Posts: 261
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Re: the bin man
Quote:
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Originally Posted by godisthyname
I think he needs a pee.
I'll offer him some tea.
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Well, that's just cruel. X'D
__________________
"God says he can get me out of this mess, but he's pretty sure you're f%#ked." --Stephen, from "Braveheart"
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09-25-2003, 05:11 PM
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#6
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Addict
Join Date: Sep 2003
Posts: 140
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its about modern alienation and class struggle - a marxist poem if there ever was one
__________________
My king! my Jove! I speak to thee, my heart!
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09-26-2003, 12:24 AM
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#7
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Mentor
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 1,776
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Just a thought, deityis theyname, what is your fixation with bathroom "offerings", (I can't in all concience, call it poetry according to your "high" standards. This is definately something new on this forum as a rule. We normally try to keep it on a higher plane...Just asking! 
__________________
To a Sr. Citizen, age is an attitude, not a number...To the young, attitude will get you fired!
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09-26-2003, 02:22 AM
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#8
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Addict
Join Date: Sep 2003
Posts: 140
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Well I'm sorry if it doesn't match up to your monumental standings. Sheesh.
__________________
My king! my Jove! I speak to thee, my heart!
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