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| Poetry Poems, Haiku & Tanka etc. |
09-24-2003, 09:26 PM
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#1
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Profound Writer
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: New Jersey, USA
Posts: 1,002
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Bottled
Alone in the dark corridor,
He sits,
He waits.
Together in the outdoor light,
He walks,
He talks.
Underneath the stars at night,
He listens,
He boasts.
On a train with you in time,
He lives,
He dies.
The drunken bastard lived and died,
left his sons, daughters and wives.
Night before he spoke his last words,
sat in bed; ate his curds.
"When I return; shall start anew,
and when I die; will come after you.
You led me to this awful death,
sent me to the bottle where was spent a last breath.
Now that I have found some peace,
leave me here to cripple and crease."
__________________
~Steven-Denmark~
________________________________
"Remember Forever and Never Forget"
______________________________________
"You're never too old for Rock'N'Roll, because it's in your heart and in your soul."
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09-24-2003, 09:35 PM
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#2
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Member
Join Date: Sep 2003
Posts: 19
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I like this. It reminds me of the poem I did on the cd entitled "The Alcoholic". I'm diggin your themes on life and the darkness that seems but that the light always exist.
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09-24-2003, 09:39 PM
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#3
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Profound Writer
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: New Jersey, USA
Posts: 1,002
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Thank-you... I am glad you like it. I was just thiking about my step-father when I wrote this.
__________________
~Steven-Denmark~
________________________________
"Remember Forever and Never Forget"
______________________________________
"You're never too old for Rock'N'Roll, because it's in your heart and in your soul."
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09-25-2003, 06:05 AM
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#4
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Profound Writer
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: New Jersey, USA
Posts: 1,002
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Also, about a fictional man, but I included my step-father into this.
__________________
~Steven-Denmark~
________________________________
"Remember Forever and Never Forget"
______________________________________
"You're never too old for Rock'N'Roll, because it's in your heart and in your soul."
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09-25-2003, 06:14 AM
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#5
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Member
Join Date: Sep 2003
Posts: 18
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Great work, I particularly like the use of taboo to increase your feeling on the pathos character.
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09-25-2003, 06:16 AM
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#6
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Addict
Join Date: Sep 2003
Posts: 140
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yes i like that too. but is that what you were aiming at rage?
__________________
My king! my Jove! I speak to thee, my heart!
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09-25-2003, 06:21 AM
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#7
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Profound Writer
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: New Jersey, USA
Posts: 1,002
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Taboo? How did I use that, I wasn't even aware I knew how...
__________________
~Steven-Denmark~
________________________________
"Remember Forever and Never Forget"
______________________________________
"You're never too old for Rock'N'Roll, because it's in your heart and in your soul."
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09-25-2003, 07:13 AM
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#8
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Member
Join Date: Sep 2003
Posts: 18
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Rage2Fury
Taboo? How did I use that, I wasn't even aware I knew how...
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Your genius is subconscious. |
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09-25-2003, 07:18 AM
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#9
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Addict
Join Date: Sep 2003
Posts: 140
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Genius lies in subconsciousness
__________________
My king! my Jove! I speak to thee, my heart!
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09-25-2003, 03:33 PM
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#10
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Profound Writer
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: New Jersey, USA
Posts: 1,002
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Of course it does! *smiles*
__________________
~Steven-Denmark~
________________________________
"Remember Forever and Never Forget"
______________________________________
"You're never too old for Rock'N'Roll, because it's in your heart and in your soul."
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