Farror

Barely There


I’m a reflection of a shadow
And even that is cast by doubt
As a reflection of a shadow, one may never be too sure

I’m a reflection of a shadow
Mirrored between truth and lies
Never knowing how to choose, where the path of justice lies

A reflection of a shadow
Barely there, it’s never seen
A reflection of a shadow
Is a shadow cast by lies

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A minifridge... The doll house of the alcoholic.

CrimsonDawn85

I really love this poem. It's beautiful. The only criticism I have is you need to work on punctuation. In the whole poem you don't even have one period. I have always had problems with punctuation in my poetry but I figure out a way that really works for me and it might work for you too. What I do is write the poem without putting it into the lines of poetry and then add in the punctuation where it's needed.

EX: I'm a reflection of a shadow, and even that is cast by doubt. As a reflection of a shadow, one may never be too sure.

Or however you choose to punctuate that. I really love the poem though. It's just a bit confusing for the reader sometimes without the correct punctuation. I feel like the punctuation police lately. Good luck on this one.

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"If the world didn't suck we'd all fall off"

Farror

Thank you for the review. As for punctuation, my poems never have it. I don't know why, but I just don't like to aply proper gramatical rules to poems. Anyways, thank you for the review and I'm glad you enjoyed my poem.

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A minifridge... The doll house of the alcoholic.

Nabraska

I really liked the imagery. Reflection of a shadow, that really makes the mind work with the eyes to see something. I'm not much of a critic as far as punctuation and all that but I love the subject--it shows a lot of truth

Darkshine

Farror- I definately agree with Nabraska on this one. Wonderfu imagery. Two points however: Take the "And" out of the second line...it burdens the line somewhat. Secondly, work on your line breaks. On the final lines of both the first and second stanzas a new line should begin after the commas. Just my opinion.

Anyways, beautiful poem. Keep it up!

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"The trouble with poets is they talk too much."
-Paul Mulvey

SD

I think it can be useful to think about punctuation... It does help the reader see your intent. I know you want to be a rebel and I totally respect that as a writer (I wanna go my own way), but as a reader I want to be led to believe something. I want to have that Heureka!-moment : this is what the poet wants to say, this is why there is a comma here and a full stop there...mmm (makes me feel clever as a reader)

Enjoyed your poem.

SD