Writers Forum - WritingForums.com Home Rules FAQ Members Groups Calendar Gallery Search
» Sign Up «

Welcome to Writing Forums, one of the fastest growing writing communties on the web.

You are currently viewing our boards as a guest which gives you limited access to view most discussions, articles and photo galleries. By joining our free community you will be able to talk with other writers, get feedback on your work to improve your writing skills, discuss ideas, share tips & tricks, network and make friends!

Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free so please, join our community today!

If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact support.
  Search Forums
Lit.Org - Bootcamp for writers. Post your work and other writers review it, it's that easy.

Advanced Search



Go Back   Writers Forum - WritingForums.com > Creativity > Poetry
Register FAQ Members List Calendar Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Poetry Poems, Haiku & Tanka etc.

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 09-21-2003, 07:19 AM   #1
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2003
Posts: 11
praveenkm1
The Journey

This path is so narrow and the night so dark
The forest watches me, hostile and strange
I hear nothing, and though my eyes strain hard,
I ‘m blind and stranded, in this solid darkness
Where have you gone, O’ light of my eyes?
You showed me this path, of promise and hope
And walked beside me, your hand in mine
How sweet was the journey, while you smiled in joy!
So many songs we shared, and laughed, like gods
But now there’s nothing, in time or in space

Just ahead, by those rocks, ugly and black
A withered tree lies, in a forlorn heap
There the darkness, seems just a bit kinder
And so I crawl, though pain racks my form
Something crumbles beneath me, white dust flies
I peer blindly and see, a ghostly snarl, it’s a skull
Many more lie around, shining in the dark
Cold fear brushes my heart, but I’m too tired
All I need now, a place to lie down
Gently I lean, against that fallen tree,
And look up at the sky, black like my soul
And then I see, beyond the edge of this jungle
A lone little star, breaking free of the dark
Hope? But it’s gone, even as I yearn
My shoulders sag, my eyes stop searching
You have forsaken me forever, now I’m sure
Something touches my feet, in a caress so gentle
It’s just a vine, that lives on this tree
As I close my eyes, it coils around me
My legs, my hips and at last my breast
How soft it feels, and warm like your touch
In moments it covers me, in an embrace so sweet
It is ecstasy, as I have never known but once
When in your arms, I had found at last love
The coils brush my lips, as had done yours
And the sweet fragrance, as from your curls
My journey is over; you’ve come back at last
And now I know, why this path has ended.
praveenkm1 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-21-2003, 01:41 PM   #2
Profound Writer
 
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: New Jersey, USA
Posts: 1,002
Rage2Fury
Send a message via AIM to Rage2Fury Send a message via Yahoo to Rage2Fury
... Could not find anything wrong with this! I like it. My kind of writing.*smiles* Good job I'd say, but something is missing. Something that is really small is missing from this poem.
__________________
~Steven-Denmark~
________________________________
"Remember Forever and Never Forget"
______________________________________
"You're never too old for Rock'N'Roll, because it's in your heart and in your soul."
Rage2Fury is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 10:22 AM.
Powered by vBulletin, Copyright ©2000-2007, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
LinkBacks Enabled by vBSEO 3.1.0


 
You are NOT Logged In.
User Name:

Password



Newsletter

Subscribe to Majestic
the official newsletter of Writing Forums and lit.org
Email:


Related Links

Link to Us:
Writing Forums - Discussions for Writers