Quai de l’Archevêché - Writers Forum

amie · 06-23-2003, 06:12 PM

I'm really not a poet...

Quai de l’Archevêché

His song mingled with the night air,
with each mourning cloud
that escaped the strings. This man,
uprooted from some distant country,
played his home into the night
with the mighty Notre Dame
as his vigil.
As his gaze remained fixed
on the strings, or, on the eyelids
tightly clasped shut,
his arm brought a gentle sway to his body
that mimicked the power and beauty
captured in those notes.

This man with leathered skin offered
a calming of the senses to the passersby—
the backpacker just off the red eye
with nowhere to go, the friends returning
from dinner at an outdoor café,
and us, no longer visitors, preparing to return
to a once-familiar land.
A love for the city rekindled,
a few coins dropped into a battered case,
an almost silent but thoroughly grateful Merci, Monsieur,
and we left that magic air to return to our beds.

rcallaci · 06-23-2003, 08:37 PM

I found this to be a lovely poem. You gave the poem a wonderful sense of atmosphere. Who said you weren't a poet, you sure sound like one to me.

Warm Regards,
Bob

Anonymous · 06-23-2003, 09:10 PM

Thanks for your lovely compliments, Bob, but it was the first attempt at poetry and likely my last...Prose is my first love.

- amie -

Bartleby · 06-25-2003, 10:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Anonymous

Thanks for your lovely compliments, Bob, but it was the first attempt at poetry and likely my last...Prose is my first love.

- amie -

If prose is your first love, then evidence points that you have had a long standing affair with poetics, and you should consider having it's love child.

Bob was absolutely correct about the atmosphere you created with this poem, this poem feels like a chalk painting on a sidewalk in a far away place. One that is so beautiful that children cry over it as it begins to rain. I liked it enough that I easily forgave you for having a title I'd need a translator to comprehend.

Good show madame, good show.

amie · 06-25-2003, 11:12 AM

Thank you so much for your compliments Bartleby...I'll have to think about that love child thing

And for the translation of the name--it's just a street name in Paris...

- amie -

Csira · 06-25-2003, 01:14 PM

It is very beautiful. As I was reading it, I could tell that you loved proses. Proses are wonderful, and it is sad that most from my school submit so few proses. I have yet to write an individual prose, maybe someday.

But as I was reading your poem, it struck me with the image. It was so homely, and I could almost hear the notes. The words were smooth and seemed natural. I liked your imagery the best, as you can tell. I think you are a wonderful poet; if you expand it, you can make a ballad. I also look forward to reading proses of yours.