The flys' reply - Writers Forum

rcallaci · 06-11-2003, 09:58 PM

my oh my, why oh why,
where oh where, do I die
do I fly high in the sky
and fly till I die
or fly down to the ground
and dive in your eye
I wobble, I wiggle,
I tingle, I fizzle
all my wings
do shiver and shake
from this decision
that you ask me to make

what's it to you
in what I do
am I not just
a pesky pest to you
a lowly bug of no
significance
absent of any
beneficence
what does it matter
to you in how
I die
high in the sky
or in your eye,
who are you
to offer me
salvation's path
when all I've known
was your hellish wrath,
but before I go
to die
either
in your eye
or in the sky
it was she
not I
who deceived you
with her lie

Oh you silly fly
you oddly odd fly
you wicked and spirited
godly gadfly
it was you
not I
who had an affair
with another fly
right before my eye
to show me
what we had together
was one self deluding lie
your fickle heart
being now the property
of that other fly,
I raged, I fumed
anger in me loomed
spittle and spit
my head
cracked open and split
in my altered state
all I felt was hate
only in death
will my revenge abate
not He
only I would be
your heartfelt mate
alas! alas!
the rest was left
to fate
leaving me to cry
as you flew
in the eye
to die
to empty yourself
to Him
wallowing together in sin
in the eternal dim

I stumble, I crumble,
I fumble, I tumble
all alone grim and naked
stones and bones
pebbles and rocks
a hole in my soul
a tear in my socks
forsaken, betrayed,
dismayed and afraid
all that is left
of me
is long ago
dead
please let me
rest a while
as I lay
on your head

Chrispian · 06-12-2003, 04:35 PM

Very odd work, but very good. I liked the wording and the odd sort of patter it formed. I think it worked very well with the idea of the poem. Good job!

rcallaci · 06-12-2003, 09:12 PM

Thank you. You have a good poetic eye, in this poem and its sister piece I was trying for a dizzying type patter. I had a lot of gun with it.

Warm Regards,
Bob

nightshade · 06-26-2003, 10:32 AM

when i started on the first few lines i thought, 'oh no. what is this?' it seemed . . . well, bad. but the whole poem works as a powerful and beautiful thing. the strangeness of its wording and meter propel the story forward rather than distract from it. really fantastic work.

rcallaci · 06-26-2003, 08:30 PM

This and its sister piece"The Wings of a Fly" maybe not my best work, but then again I never rate any of my work( I love them all the good and the bad), I leave that to others ,but it was the most fun to write. And when someone and even better yet a fellow writer and artist fines merit in it, all the more rewarding for this old dark heart. I thank you for your kind words.

Warmest Regards,
Bob