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| Poetry Poems, Haiku & Tanka etc. |
06-08-2003, 10:46 PM
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#1
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Addict
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 192
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"Emily"
here's a nice mushy one to counter-act my wrathfull last poem. this is about a treasured friend of mine who almost died in a car accident. unfortunately, her extreme drug dependence keeps me from loving her like i used to. anyway, here's the poem, short and hopefully sweet.
"Emily"
Consumed by loss and inspired by love
Her fragile soul rests on wings of the dove
No choice now for life she will fight
Strong by day, stronger by night
Lord God now, you must help her please
Worry for her has become my disease
Come back to us now, slow but sure
Prayers for revival, they have to endure
__________________
"Well fuck me Freddy!" -Beaver Clarenden in "Dreamcatcher"
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06-21-2003, 09:21 PM
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#2
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Prolific Writer
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Alabama
Posts: 211
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Free mind 7~
I really like the simple power of this piece, the rhyme scheme doesn't detract from the message you are trying to convey. Excellent work you have here.
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~ Adventure, Excitement, a Jedi craves not these things. - Silent Bob
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06-21-2003, 10:34 PM
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#3
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Prolific Writer
Join Date: Dec 2002
Posts: 434
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loved it, ill leave it at that
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06-21-2003, 10:51 PM
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#4
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Addict
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 192
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thanx bart. i like to think of that as one of my better works and i think that was because i, (mr. tuffguy who is stronger than steel) was bawling my eyes out after being told that someone i loved wasnt gonna make it to see the sun rise again. fortunatley she did. but the inspiration was very powerfull. thanx for the comment. and thanx to the unknown guest who liked it too.
-FM7
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"Well fuck me Freddy!" -Beaver Clarenden in "Dreamcatcher"
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06-22-2003, 06:02 AM
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#5
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Best Seller
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Posts: 653
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That's really tender and sweet freemind.
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06-23-2003, 01:21 AM
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#6
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Addict
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 192
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quarterstein, im gonna thank you for the comment even though if it were one of my good friends who said it, it would be classified as soem sorta harrassment, but seeing as i try to keep an open mind ill take that as u meant that it actually was. lol.
__________________
"Well fuck me Freddy!" -Beaver Clarenden in "Dreamcatcher"
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06-23-2003, 06:06 AM
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#7
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Best Seller
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Posts: 653
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Harassment?????? Wha?????
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06-23-2003, 12:18 PM
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#8
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Addict
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 192
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nuthin just one of my incoherent rambling posts that malke little sense
__________________
"Well fuck me Freddy!" -Beaver Clarenden in "Dreamcatcher"
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06-24-2003, 05:25 AM
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#9
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Best Seller
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Posts: 653
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Okay, as long as you weren't making sense. I was afraid I'd offended you or something.  |
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06-24-2003, 11:36 PM
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#10
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Addict
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 192
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nah its cool its really hard to offend me ill just take whatever anyone says and turn it around a little ot make it a compliment.
__________________
"Well fuck me Freddy!" -Beaver Clarenden in "Dreamcatcher"
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06-25-2003, 07:47 AM
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#11
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Best Seller
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Posts: 653
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Ooh, good plan.
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06-25-2003, 05:42 PM
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#12
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Addict
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 192
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its worked well so far 
__________________
"Well fuck me Freddy!" -Beaver Clarenden in "Dreamcatcher"
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06-26-2003, 04:11 AM
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#13
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Member
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Alabama
Posts: 20
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hey,
wow, that was simple, but powerful. I like it.
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-Shanna
"Some of the best things in life aren't seen or heard, but felt with the heart" -Helen Keller
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06-26-2003, 11:47 AM
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#14
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Addict
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 192
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thank you DW, im glad u enjoyed it.
__________________
"Well fuck me Freddy!" -Beaver Clarenden in "Dreamcatcher"
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