Thread: Bobcat's Yowl:

I remember asking
why nobody helped her.

My grandfather said,
"That's not a lady."

For the woman in pain I felt
compassion,
for the predator,
contempt.

It took me years to
unlearn hate.

Brilliant! This is incredible and quite impressive.

I'm sorry this isn't much of a review, I'm having to cut it short so I can get to work -- but please know how thoroughly I enjoyed this.
The last line was very effective and the whole piece was touching.

Great job!

Steph

Indeed. How much things change with a tiny bit of context.

Why hate for the predator ? Or--was it really fear ?....Good job though. I love the images you created and that you kept this simple ...perfect for this poem. Peace...Jul

Fear spawns hate.

The poem's supposed to--among other things--highlight all living creatures being living creatures worthy of compassion. But, even as children, we're indoctrinated with the belief that because ants, spiders, toads, worms, grasshoppers, fish, and other animals are smaller than us, we can step on them for no reason. Their pain doesn't matter to us.

This is most true with predator species. People fear them. Fear turns into contempt. Hatred causes people to kill-on-sight, but predators are doing their part for the good of our planet. They aren't evil or bad, they're just trying to survive. Animals don't wastefully kill. They kill to eat or to protect themselves, but they don't preemptively kill. You shouldn't hate a wolf because it's a wolf, or--in this case--a bobcat, because it's a bobcat.

Misplaced, ignorant disdain eats away at people's capabilities and emotional potential.

I apologize. I started preaching.

Thank you for the compliments.

I think you should cut the first stanza. It's unnecessary because the title sets up the image.

Do you think cutting 'screaming' would work just as well?

Yes, but even doing that the stanza is really unnecessary and not as interesting as the rest of the piece. Is it absolutely necessary that we know the exact location? Or that you had a farm? And I think it can be inferred that you are a child without the inclusion of the first line. "I remember asking / why nobody helped her" is a much more powerful intro than anything in that first stanza.

And another thought - see what getting rid of the second 'in pain I felt' does for the rhythm. I think it'll help.

Thank you for the clarification! The reason I wanted to keep the stanza was for the first line, 'At seven years old...'. Now that you told me it can be inferred that the narrator's a child, I can cut it.

Getting rid of the second 'in pain I felt' made it feel a lot nicer, too. I like the way it causes a 'dwindling' effect, reflecting the way the narrator's empathy is dwindling.

I edited the first post. Thank you so much for your help.

Very nice. The economization helps.