Thread: Dromedary Down

The little pixies
who dole out the foul
chaff of fate
made me a favored date
until we were going steady,
whether or not I was ready.

With my bio memorized
from cover to cover
to better mete out misery,
in a giggling circle
around me they'd hover
haggling over
whose turn it was to place
the next straw.

Day after day
they'd pile the hay,
each malcontent
with mere handfuls,
they stuffed their glittery skin
to the gills.
Tiny bulimic scarecrows
obsessed
with weight loss
at my expense.

Until yesterday,
when this camel's back
abruptly snapped
leaving me a pile
of useless limbs
with a naked splinter of spine
poking out
like a flagless pole
of the defeated.

Relationship severed.

They sprinkled me
with sparkles
so headlights will hit me
before any car does.
There is no joy in victory
if the object of your derision
is dead and buried.

There are brigades of them,
and mine's been reassigned.
Abandoned here
in a helpless heap
I never sleep
for praying for the soul
who comes next in line.



I'm in the midst of tending to some real life drama, so I haven't been able to reply to the myriad of wonderful pieces posted by many of you. I would like to thank everyone who has replied to any of my threads that still remain unanswered. Once I'm over the current hurdles, I'll remedy my silence with gusto.

Got the hump reading this...

Originally Posted by Chester's Daughter

The little pixies
who dole out the foul
chaff of fate
made me a favored date
until we were going steady I'd put a comma after this line.
whether or not I was ready.

Day after day
they'd pile the hay,
each malcontent
with mere handfuls,
they stuffed their glittery skin
to the gills.
Tiny scarecrows
obsessed
with weight loss
at my expense. This stanza is a bit confusing to me. The pixies stuff themselves with the straw, but then they want to "lose weight" by putting the straws on your back. I mean, if they were obsessed with weight loss, why would they stuff themselves with straw in the first place?

Abandoned here
in a helpless heap
I never sleep
for praying for the soul
who comes next in line. This bit really broke my heart. There you are, left for dead, yet still thinking of how you can prevent others from meeting the same fate. Quite a contrast, because instead of feeling sorry for yourself, as would be completely understandable in this instance, you become even more sympathetic by not doing that very thing. Don't know if I explained that very well...

Nice to see a post from you, in spite of all you're dealing with. I look forward to your eventual triumphant return.

Best,
Bachelorette

Dear Bloggsworth, You clever, clever, gentleman. That particular saying so aptly fits here, and I apologize for being the cause of giving you the hump, lol. Appreciate the read, hon.


Dear Miss B, It's more of a shambling return than a triumphant one, but it's far better than a dead standstill, so triumphant is what we'll call it. I'll insert the comma in S1 upon completion of this reply. As for the confusion of S3, if I said the pixies are bulimic would that help? lol. Seriously, I get what you mean, it's a bit confusing. I've been trying to think of a different way of saying it, but keep coming up empty. There must be a better way, of that I'm sure, so I'll keep at it until something clicks. As for the final stanza, you've explained yourself perfectly, and how you feel is exactly what I hoped would happen. My favorite saying around these parts is "it is what it is" and when that happens, self pity only makes a bigger mess. The wise move forward, no matter how awkwardly, and hope for the best. There are a few despicable people on the face of this earth whom I dislike intensely, but never would I wish being a victim of the pixies upon them, it would make me much less than human to do so. To think of all the good people who may be next on that list leaves me no means of assistance save for prayer. I pray a lot, lol. Infinite blessings and thanks for your abundant kindness. Yet again, your valuable and astute observations have brought me great joy. Please be well, love.

Great things to you both,
Lisa

I agree with Bachelorette, this is heartbreaking, and though I see the confusion in the third stanza, I also understand what you are saying here. No ideas on how to rephrase it, but I'll shoot you a pm if I think of anything that may help.

Actually, Lisa, I think "bulimic" would probably work in this instance.

EDIT: Also, I'm an idiot: WELCOME BACK LISA!

Dear Cin, Believe it or not, I wrote this before all that other stuff happened. Thank God for crazy glue for I needed that spine more than ever. You know what's actually going on, so this probably hit you harder than it would most. Sorry for that. Please, my dear Sis, if you think of anything, PM me. I really would like to tidy this up. Love you, Sis.


Dear Miss B, I probably just complicated it even more, but I made them "tiny bulimic scarecrows", which will have to suffice until a better fix arises. Your continued concern and warm welcome home mean more than you will ever know. Abundant blessings upon you and yours, my dear friend.

Hugs to you both,
Lisa