Thread: The Maker's Speech

If you wish to take the very world
And be it so, take its many wonders
I guess it so, you shall shake this world
Till all the wonders come falling downward.

Take the Earth and all its many glories
Give to it what you very well much will.
Turn it to its end, at the Maker’s Flames,
Or turn its face to your seat in the Air.

But remember that I, and I alone,
Hold this created world in My great palms.
Your cosmos diabolicus, a fake!
A meager illusion created by you!

Now come, you who bring the world to death
Your false endings end and your own end comes
The vintage is ripe, the wrath has now come
Your folly shall show, you serpent of old

This is not the way the world shall end
By a man, or serpent, of his own strength
But by My palm shall I take hold the Earth
When all have tried to take it to their own

Then shall I squeeze that vintage from the Earth
And give it to you, My long gone angel
Then it will show the true fall of the Earth
Which, in truth, is but the beginning’s start.

Yes, when the comings and goings have past
The music will chime, the colors will show
Yes, how they will truly show the Herald
That Herald of the New World to come.

To this ending, your wish will never show
Paradise Lost, taken back once again
The Grapes of Wrath, never to spill again.
And your shaking hands, to move no longer.

Very nice, I like the Biblical apocalyptic tone, and the unique flair you employ.

There are some grammatical eccentricities I noticed throughout, not sure if you intended them or not - for example, first stanza:

If you wish to take the very world
And be it so, take its many wonders
I guess it so, you shall shake this world "and be it so...I guess it so" is a bit askew, and not a precise way of speaking, but it does produce a certain high tone
Till all the wonders come falling downward.

Give to it what you very well much will. "...what you very well much will." That's certainly a verbose way of putting it : )

Overall, very nice - I do like the tone and the high style
---todd

Originally Posted by toddm

Very nice, I like the Biblical apocalyptic tone, and the unique flair you employ.

There are some grammatical eccentricities I noticed throughout, not sure if you intended them or not - for example, first stanza:





Overall, very nice - I do like the tone and the high style
---todd

Yeah, I had to fit some of the words in the iambic pentameter (10 syllables and stuff) and couldn't think of how to word those two. However, I will get on changing those.

I like this and unfortunately the reference towards the end took me out of the poem and to one of my all time favorite novels (for a number of reasons) - Steinbeck's The Grapes of Wrath and so I had to do some googling and get the background on that phrase, which I had not done before.

Originally Posted by kennyc

I like this and unfortunately the reference towards the end took me out of the poem and to one of my all time favorite novels (for a number of reasons) - Steinbeck's The Grapes of Wrath and so I had to do some googling and get the background on that phrase, which I had not done before.

Yeah, that part I actually had to think a little on. Basically, I wanted that part to allude to three or more things at once, I.E. a reference of a reference of a reference.

Steinbeck's title is the first reference that people will think of. However, I wanted more themes referenced in that line, so it also refers to a stanza from "The Battle Hymn of the Republic"

"Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord:
He is trampling out the vintage where the grapes of wrath are stored;
He hath loosed the fateful lightning of His terrible swift sword:
His truth is marching on"

And since this is God speaking, I wanted the line to refer to a biblical verse.

And the angel thrust in his sickle into the earth, and gathered the vine of the earth, and cast it into the great winepress of the wrath of God. And the winepress was trodden without the city, and blood came out of the winepress, even unto the horse bridles, by the space of a thousand and six hundred furlongs. Revelation 14:19–20

You probably knew this, but I wanted people to know that that stanza references a whole bunch of stuff in only a few amount of words.

Originally Posted by bearycool

...

You probably knew this, but I wanted people to know that that stanza references a whole bunch of stuff in only a few amount of words.

Actually I didn't before I looked it up.