Thread: underwater hell

I tried to write a sonnet, but I'm not sure if it's really a sonnet so I'm posting it in the main Poetry boards. I think the syllable count is off.

Ocean waves break on the camel's thick hide
as the sister rides upon the two humps and
contemplates life, is she really riding this
desert beast under the deep blue sea, or is it a
dream brought on by sadness and grievance, maybe it's
even life after death, and the sister could be
forced, forced to ride a camel for
eternity, riding it under a sea she
filled with sins and mischief in life, oh
how she must suffer for how she made me suffer, my own
sister tortured me endlessly and now it
is time for her to pay, time for me to be in
control, but wait! What if I meet her fate
and must ride this camel under water?

It has 14 lines and it's a poem, today that qualifies it as a sonnet, just not a "Classical" sonnet with a particular syllable count and rhyme scheme - So yes, in the general poetry section not the formal one. The primary requirement is that it be a good poem, after that, all else follows...

I tried my best to make sure there were 10 syllables in each line, but I'm no good at that, so I could be wrong. Thanks!