Thread: Thrash Metal

I took her like so
and like so
and then again
on Monday morning.
Somewhere between
cacophony and quiet,
pummelled by Somerset rain,
I stumbled on a different self.

Hmm... why Thrash Metal?

What's the her?

Are the first four lines referring to sex?

The simplicity of the first sentence almost clashes with the heightened words of the second, why not keep it simple or complex all the way through?

Oddly specific seventh line.

A different self? Perhaps the self in a mosh pit? Is this how it could relate?

ARGH

So... many... questions...

And no answers...

There aren't any answers. That was my point. This piece is short and leaves me with questions, questions that I cannot answer, and therefore must wonder why I'm asking them in the first place.

I don't think any answers are needed. The moment is what's important here, as well as the impact of that moment. From this, I infer the realization of different shades of self. We get the moment of intimacy (or lust, if you will), followed by a slight bit of enlightenment. I love the atmosphere that is created here.

I like the rhythm of "cacophony". The four syllables work well there, but I think it is out of place. Maybe a string of smaller words to fit the rhythm?

I wanted to comment that this piece confused me, but decided to wait to hear what others had to say. Now I comment that it still confuses me!

The transliteration I reach, is something about a guy from Somerset who likes the cacophony of trash metal and is rather controlled by his sexual desires, and then suddenly, standing in rain, he realizes there might be more to life than trash metal and sex!

I see a man, and his avatar. I see no sex, but some grinding of gears perhaps.

But that's just me.

Originally Posted by Squalid Glass

I like the rhythm of "cacophony". The four syllables work well there, but I think it is out of place. Maybe a string of smaller words to fit the rhythm?

Four smaller words don't work as the starts and ends of four individual words take too much time, apart from that introducing additional fricatives, sibilants and/or plosives would, I think, spoil the flow; for me cacophony works because of its speed of utterance, I just don't see how one could say/read four individual words, however short, as quickly.