Thread: Dead but not forgotten

Dead but not forgotten is my Grandma Romeo, Grandpa Katko, and my Grandma Katko.

I miss them dearly, but I know they are safe were no one can harm them.

And I know they can’t harm me.

Oh how I miss them.

I miss them because they are no longer apart of my life.

I know I will see them again, but this sorrow of the death of my loved ones still hurts me so.

As long as I live they will not be forgotten.

They will not be forgotten because of the hope within me.

I love you Grandma Romeo, Grandpa Katko, and Grandma Katko. And I will always miss you. May Jehovah remember you?

This poem is dedicated to all my dead loved ones.

any comments at all

Any specific advice you're looking for? What is your goal for this poem? To be published? To keep in a journal? To express yourself? To entertain others?

My comments depend on what your goal is.


[Edit:] I just looked at the other poetry you've posted on this board. Your first step, before I give any further comments in this thread, is to read through the advice you've received in the past and apply it to this poem. Post the revised version, then I'll comment.

I don't know how to go back to my other poems.

It's easy, Cassie. Next to Welcome Cassie at the top of your page you'll find "My profile", click on it and then click on Latest Started Threads on the left side of the page and it will list all of your pieces for you.

Even though I can sypathise with the sentiments expressed here this piece does not contain many of the elements of a poem.

Sorry I cannot say any more.

Love,

Firebird

try using a meter system to space it out
start with that and you may find little ways to add dimension to your piece