Thread: A Man of Storms (new)

I decided it would be better to start a new thread for this than edit it on the previous one, since it is such a big edit that it practically becomes a whole new poem.


A man of storms

On the hill,
A man of storms,
A path of thorns
And many doors
To show his fate,
For him to know
The deadly deeds
That he will sow.

Steady eyes,
A quickening hand,
He spread numb shadows
Across the land.
And the gods in men
Did cry out
A second of pain;
An unheard shout
Before they crumbled.
Dust and fire.
The trees ablaze,
The mountains on fire,
And the towers crippled,
The oceans raged.
The numb shadows fly
As I turn the page.

Flummoxed dead run,
The numb shadows fly.
Tuesday hides its face;
A still night sky.
You stop the clock,
You proclaim your hand.
A sign the stars
Can't understand.
And loose forth glory
In its darkest sense.
The numb shadows paralyze
The air so dense.
And you pluck the moon towards you
A footstool for your throne.
The Earth is to your liking
Your reign is set in stone

Oh, man of storms
Demon divine!
Up high, us low,
Your murder so fine!
As the chaos dregs start,
And the men of land flee
I simply ask
Why you don't kill me.

What a wonderful editing job ! You have given this stunning poem what it so richly deserves---Life! HEART!! and SOUL! This has sooo many fabulous lines.The last 7 lines are quite dark and thrilling..."Tuesday hides it's face"--love that! This is just one example of stunning artistry...Peace...Jul

Wow, thanks. I might try to work with some of the pacing though - reading it over, it feels a bit disjointed around the middle. Probably my lexical choice getting more attention that my sense of rhythm.