Thread: Why Have You Gone?

Where have you gone, Mr. John Smith Darwin?
Freedom songs ring loud in the night
to find you to murder your murderous life.
Where have you gone in the midst of your fits?
Have you finally realized, one size doesn’t fit?

I looked for you when I looked for the truth.
I asked why you, Mr. John Smith Darwin,
didn’t catch me when I fell.
I screamed for help, but you don’t believe in Hell.
Why can’t I adapt to this life anymore?
You told me you love me, but you’re only a whore.
A chemical process has broken my heart.
You lied to my spirit and tore it apart.

How did you feel when you lay on your bed
sending flowers to your followers
to tell them it’s alright?
Where did you go, Mr. John Smith Darwin
when your body stopped moving
and we all stood by watching?
We didn’t know what to feel for a man without a soul.
You came, and you went as the winter's cold snows,
for what have I known you?
God only knows.

Left out some commas in S1 L1, S2 L2, S3 L4.

I couldn't make sense of S1 L3.

Otherwise, a very intriguing voice and some strong imagery. It seems more like song lyrics than a poem?

Originally Posted by Ilasir Maroa

Left out some commas in S1 L1, S2 L2, S3 L4.

I couldn't make sense of S1 L3.

Otherwise, a very intriguing voice and some strong imagery. It seems more like song lyrics than a poem?

Stanza 1, lines 2 and 3 are voice of hatred from the person of those who knew Mr. Darwin. I'm trying to imagine the hopelessness of his followers upon discovering the hopelessness of a hopeless life. Thanks for spotting those comma issues, and thanks for the kind words. Many of my poems have lyrical value. I tend to write that way.

I liked the first and last stanzas but didn't feel like the second worked quite as well - lovely poem though