Thread: A Momentary Lapse

Richard sings, while slowly strumming his guitar, to the absent Rachel:

"I confessed my feelings to you,
brought my very soul to you,
bared open my heart,
laid it all on the line,
soared up to the highest heavens
and plunged down deep into the ocean of love...

"But it was just a momentary lapse
a brief emotion, but it's passed
a foolish passion and it wouldn't last long,
just a momentary lapse.

"I saw a temple raise up high between our eyes,
a blissful vision in the meeting of our lives,
I saw a future full of wonder, full of laughter, full of joy,
full of love...

"But it was just a momentary lapse
a brief emotion, but it's passed
a foolish passion and it wouldn't last long,
just a momentary lapse."

Should be in prose poetry perhaps? Nice poem, different from your other ones that I have read. I like how you chose to reveal the intention towards the end.
Oh, and second-last stanza:

"Keep playing, that sounds pretty - did you write it?"

-- typo.

My wife would have said "Who's Rachel..."

thanks candid, I considered the prose poem forum, or even fiction, but most of it is free verse so I went with that - I fixed the typo, thanks for that : )
---todd

Originally Posted by Bloggsworth

My wife would have said "Who's Rachel..."

He didn't sing her name : ) and besides she only speaks "absently", which indicates the core issue for this fellow -
---todd

What is going on in that marvelous head of yours???Always a pleasure to read what flows so effortlessly from your poetic pen. Peace...Jul

Originally Posted by Firemajic

What is going on in that marvelous head of yours???

Fiction, my friend : ) and a handful of musical pieces I heard recently sparked something - also a context to write a mopey love song and not have it (hopefully) be too trite, with the surrounding details added -

Always a pleasure to read what flows so effortlessly from your poetic pen. Peace...Jul

Human nature, and the complexities of life and love offer endless material - glad you enjoyed : )
---todd