Thread: it came and went

how did it go?
the question is begged,
and how did we do about it at all I pray?
it did all begin so quickly it did
it lasted I think as long as the dream,
that comes in a sleep
riddles your feels
and ravels the tricks
that made up the knot,
a moment of fear
and out of the blue
a slip of relief,
that carries you light
out of the deep.
it almost appeared to be in a film
a movement that was,
the idea that could've if only it was,
but suddenly swift,
and out of the brume
dayliht is dawned
which finds you awake
just like a switch
flashes appear,
and out of a daze
a story of pace
derail and reffills,
something that could've would've
too many buts and ifs and what not
conditional tense
a maze of two ways
endlessly played
and then turned away.
minutes have flown
pictures have sailed
words have reset
to turn a new page.
a new day ahead
pressing its feet
to get to its peak
and define a new height.

I like poems like this, I take a personal journey while reading poems. In the beginning, the use of the word "it" so much made me stumble a lot, but it became more smooth after that. The rest made me feel... different, but very nice.

My journey with this poem went something like this: Stumbling through a dream of chaos (The so many uses of "it" giving way to the stumbling, though it was a nice addition to the journey, almost like a good transition from my desk into the other reality) Then I was standing in a fog, my bare feet in wet mossy ground with small bugs tickling the edge of them, then reliefe as my light (I do have a light in the dark) was taken out of the dark and I rejoiced. Then it's as if the image went grainy like a theater screen, and I stood from my seat, unhappy that it could not be that way, that it was not real, and walked out of the theater room onto the street (no lobby or consession or ticket stand. Going along with "swift") The sun rises abruptly, but staying out of view behind some trees, but giving light to an empty sky, where my mind thinks back to the movie, two paths, one taken as a default, the other in my mind, wishing to be taken over this one, but the barries won't let me, and I begin to change my ways and become a better person, chasing my light. I define a new hight in my life, one mountain above the valley of sorrows below, and I continue to grow. In a way, my light has been taken out from the deep.

That is my personal interpretation.

haha...Niklas you simpl amasing and what an interpretation you gave there!
I enjoyed it very much thank you

Very nice Nacian. I too am a poet and like Niklas, I like to read a poem and place myself inside it.

This one for me, reminded me of a recent unpleasantry that took place in my life. (Although everything does right now) So I did feel quite compelled to it. Especially the part about the film... "it almost appeared to be in a film a movement that was."
Lovely

hey MaggieMoo itis a pleasure to have as a reader of my poem.
I am glad you related to it and in a nice way..
I look forward to reading your poetry

No problems.
I shall be uploading some work over the next few weeks.
Again, a joy to read.
mm

There were moments when this really took off, and the awkward phrasing worked to give the poem a slightly acerbic level. However, at other points I felt the words clashed and the pacing gave cause to stumble. Some of the lines jarred both in terms of flow and fluctuation (and how did we do about it at all I pray? / too many buts and ifs and what not), and it moved from choppiness to an almost repetitive syllabolic count in places.

hi Blue Ape sorry if it felt auckward to you...
I wrote in a moment, on a whim, and at the time the words seemt to just pour out of my pen..
atumbling was not the intention but is taken on board