Thread: Hovering

Hovering

Something like a cord,
indivisibly ours, electrocuting primitive
tongues
to my body
from the continent.

I’m sure you’ve seen it.

Bottled, encouraged
wind,
immeasurable against your breath drinking,
invited,
my ear.

Something like forgetting
avenues of poor tasting streetlamps, and
remembering why we use
light.

A shudder of fingertips (noticed)
excavates what’s left
of unbending, boombox
me. Your name traced
over swollen dust
fragments

makes you,
accolade
resounding—

something like the best thing
I’ve tasted
in years.

Well Angel. It's very difficult to provide a critique to sublime. Your shifts into discordance always fall int to place, and they are always fantastic. I like the inclusion of the reader in the sec. stanza. Your ability to shake up line length, and make sudden shifts in length. all work nicely in this poem. "Something like forgetting" is a memorable line for me.

regards.

jeffrey

I've read this some times now, and I must admit I don't quite get it. Maybe it's just too contemporary for me, but those images are so abstract and obscure, I felt it hard to center down on them, least connect them with each other. I'd love to hear your own thoughts on the piece, maybe it will clear it up for me.

Oh, and I didn't read any of it as an inclusion of the reader. Throughout it seems like something to do with a relationship and how the parts position themselves to each other... I take it isn't sexual references, that would require a warning on these boards, right? Anyway, I might be way off, so... let's hear what others have to say.

There is something very 'di Prima' about this in places, with some marvelous phrasing. I particularly liked "Something like forgetting avenues of poor tasting streetlamps, and remembering why we use light."

It's certainly earthy, and has a notional tenderness without being soft or sickly.