Thread: Autumn

The dry breathlessness
of the waiting room
lingers on my skin
like indentions in
the carpet. We
drive back home
and you lie on
the bed and I
sit in the living
room and even
with the TV on
it’s still so
quiet.


I never thought
I would want
to be young again.

I'm a sucker for autumnal verse, and although this was not what I expected, I still liked it.
A lot is unsaid, very judiciously, and it works well to develop a strong atmosphere and tension in a few lines.
It all flows so nicely, I love the imagery - and the last line is perfect.
---todd

A very poignant poem, as Todd said--you left a lot unsaid, allowing your reader to take this where they may. Very clever words, carefully chosen , but the emotion comes through so elegantly...Well done, peace...Jul

Well done. Thought was obviously given to line breaks and word choices. For example your position of "quiet" by itself on the last line before a break gives the word more power and poignancy and the last line of the poem shows longing for a return to better times rather than to be young by the way you handled the phrasing.

I wonder if "We" would work better down with "drive back home."? Not sure.

Don't get me wrong, I love it as is. Very good heart felt poem.