Thread: Scream

I don't know whose scream I heard
through the fingers pressed into my ears,
mine or the rabbit's.

The dog had pounced on the petrified rabbit
no leap, no jump, no hop
still,
With some disease.

Trapped between bloody gums.
No wiggle, no nervous jerk, no twitch
to get away.

Sharp, yellow teeth stabbed
the blood stained fur, sinking into
soft, tender flesh.

"I don't know whose scream I heard" - You may want to think about tinkering with the opening line. It could have more drawing power.

"through the fingers pressed into my ears," - Not crazy about the use of "through" here.

"no leap, no jump, no hop"
"No wiggle, no nervous jerk, no twitch" - Absolutely loved these two lines. The way you worked them into stanza's two and three were great. I would take out the word "nervous" though.

"With some disease." - This seems like it just doesn't fit.

The ending was nice and simple. I liked it. A short poem, direct and concise spoken in a way I enjoyed. You could make it longer or keep it as is. Either way I liked it.