Thread: Tribulation of the dragon

Six hundred and sixty six fiery chariots
blazed across the eastern sky
filled with souls the Beast had won,
deceived by his lies.

The dragon knew the time had come
to open up the pit,
and cast the Beast and his minions
into the great abyss.

The King released the dragon's chains
and dried his silver tears,
the Beast had been held captive,
for a thousand years.

Patiently the dragon had waited,
he knew his time would come,
the Beast would die and the King would rule
with his only begotten Son.

Anointed by the King
to carry out the task,
he would cast the Beast into the pit
and end his reign at last.

The King looked at the nail scars
on the hands of his beloved Son,
then whispered "it is finished,
your work on earth is done".

The King commanded to the dragon
"cast the Beast into the pit",
The dragon obeyed, then breathed out fire--
and the flames of hell were lit...

The dragon folded his tattered wings
and closed his emerald eyes,
softly he repeated "It is finished"
laid down his head and died.

The damned ones begged for mercy,
but no one heard their prayers,
the King took his Son's nail scared hand
and climbed the golden stairs...

Well, I'm so pleased you continued your "Dragon Tears" saga - even more Biblical here, and the solid and weighty tone was sustained through the whole piece - interesting Christ-parallel with the dragon saying "It is finished" near the end

Each stanza had a point to make, and they each were successful - I was curious why two of them had only three lines when the rest were four - ?

I really like the 4th line of the excellent 1st stanza, the beat of that last line is perfect -

There are a few things I could advise you to tweak - like "released the dragon chains", to something like "released the dragon's chains", but those kinds of things are small in the wake of the grandeur of this piece -

nice work
---todd

Todd-thank you for catching that--I have corrected as you suggested.
I am honored that you liked this poem.Truly honored,coming from you--a treasured critique...
I don't know why some lines are 3 instead of 4....huuummmm--I will think about it...I did not notice that..

Jul, what a riveting read! Each line, stanza could have leapt out from a page of classic literature or mythology. This is just one example of your scholarly marks. The last two lines are particularly outstanding!

The King commanded to the dragon
"cast the Beast into the pit",
The dragon obeyed, then breathed out fire--
and the flames of hell were lit...

Upon first read, I suppose I was free associating the many symbols of the dragon which I enjoy investigating as with anything which has multiple meanings such as the red door which I wrote a poem about.

Dragon meanings are endless. According to Feng Shui, which I practice, they symbolize wealth, power and opportunity (I’ve been on the hunt for one!) In the Orient they’re benevolent, wise and magical then to those in Slavic and related traditions where the dragon symbolizes evil. Sorry, Jul, I see that I’m strolling down my own obsessive path!

Your dragon is heroic and you portray a tear jerking sacrificial death. And your rhyming here is nothing less than great beat. Something I wish I had a gift for.

The dragon folded his tattered wings
and closed his emerald eyes,
softly he repeated "It is finished"
laid down his head and died.

We all know who the Beast is which caused me to think of him in “The Book of Revelation” where he is to appear at the end of all things, prophesizing Armageddon. (I had had a staunch, crazy, Lutheran babysitter who terrified me with scripture) Whew! You turned this notion around:

Anointed by the King to carry out the task,
he would cast the Beast into the pit
and end his (reign) at last.

One little problem I noticed

The King looked at the nail scars“on” the hands of his beloved Son,

Beautiful and touching imagery:

his silver tears

It’s always a luxury when a writer can usher me into the word he/she created or allow me to become a character, realized. You have led me into different eras in one poem. That of the Old Testament and then the feel of "King Arthur's Court"

My morning has been mundane up till now. Thank you, Jul, for writing and sharing this artful poem.

Yours, Laurie
　
　
　
　
　
　
　
　
　

Silvermoon---WOW! thank you so much for your critique of my poem.I enjoyed reading your thoughts on the history of the dragon.This is one of three poems about the dragon--and this is the third part.Dragon tears was the second part---I was hoping that each poem would stand alone--or when read together--give the reader greater insight to the story...Did you mean I should change "in "to "on"?{about the nail scars} --Because I edited that in as I thought you were suggesting..And was" reign "misused?If so--I will fix it. Your critique is one that I will cherish.....Thank you again for reading and replying. Peace...Jul

Todd-I fixed that three line thing you pointed out--I think it was the way I was breaking up the sentences ...Thanks again. Peace...Jul

---I was hoping that each poem would stand alone--or when read together--give the reader greater insight to the story...

I must go into your threads and get the whole picture. A trilogy!

Did you mean I should change "in "to "on"?{about the nail scars}

Yes. Scars are "on" the skin, not "in"

..And was" reign "misused?

No. Not at all. Just missplelled. I should have made that more clear.

This poem was a delight to review. Laurie

SilverMoon --I think I have the spelling right--Thanks. Peace...Jul

Originally Posted by Firemajic

Todd-I fixed that three line thing you pointed out--I think it was the way I was breaking up the sentences ...Thanks again. Peace...Jul

looks great!
---todd

With its many biblical references 'Tribulation of the dragon' carries a theme of familiarity yet is seen from a much different perspective. It is troubling in it's portent, but comforting in it's assurance. The closure offered in the last verse is very well done and very beautiful.

fp

Dear feralpen--Thank you so much for understanding the message, and for reading and replying. Your comments are valued, and important to me. Peace...Jul

Hey Jul - just wanted to tell you that I really enjoyed this. It's truly epic, and its religious overtones don't come across as sanctimonious, which can be tricky for some people, but apparently not for you. Wish I had something more substantial to say, but SilverMoon pretty much hit on everything I would have said. Nice work.

Hey Bachelorette---Thank you for commenting--what a pleasure to have you read and comment! All my best. Peace...Jul

This was a beautiful read; I love how you are able to write religious poetry without it sounding forced. I'd done a piece once, it's okay I guess, but it does sound a bit forced.
Thanks for sharing this poem.