Thread: Ashes to Ashes: Katrina

Father Rock
prayed on the rooftop
of his storefront church
submerged in the great flood.

The first day’s heat
squeezed him hard.
On the second day
an old friend died
and he floated the body
into the muddy water
where it disappeared in silence,
an oily sheen in its wake.

On the third day
he prayed
while the still waters
retreated slowly,
a defeated army
abandoning the battlefield
bathed in silt and despair.

The storm scoured his soul
leaving only that grounded
deep within his heart,
and eyes that held the burdens
of the living and the dead,
like the rusted skiffs,
riding low in the flood,
searching for water
that would never quench
the thirst.

This is awesome...you painted a very vivid image of utter desolation....and you did it so very well. The last stanza was perfection... great work---looking --looking forward to reading much--much more. Peace...jul

jul
Many thanks.
pete

I'm obsessed with the devastation Katrina left in her wake and all those innocent souls who had their lives ripped apart. That said, this hit home with a tremendous thud that shall reverberate for all time. Excellent piece, Peter, not a single nit to these eyes. I did not find it prosaic, it reads more as free verse to me, so as you can see, I've moved it to the main board. It's really wonderful to have you back.

Best,
Lisa

peter6

Being in emergency management, I have attended many seminars where Katrina was the topic of discussion. I have talked with many responders from our area that went to help with recovery and clean up. From my experience, you have done a good job of describing much of the despair left in the wake of this catastrophic event. Well done.

fp

Lisa,
Many thanks for your kind words. I think it still needs something; not sure what.
In appreciation,
pete

FP,
Thank you for the comment.
pete

To be honest, Pete, I don't find it the least bit lacking in any aspect, I think you've done an exceptional job, but you know your own mind and it's your work. Perhaps someone will say something and what you're looking for will click. Those elusive loose ends we feel are there are positively maddening. Good luck, love. I look forward to any tweaking you may do.

Best,
Lisa

Lisa,
It is maddening. If I only had the words.
pete

Ash,
Great suggestion. Thank you.
pete