Thread: Tramp Stamped

Note: One naughty word.

Tramp Stamped

I can tell you have the kind of fingers
that wipe away dirty tattoos, the permanent kind,
names and faces threaded through to my bones
like salivary strings. They cover my whole body,
even the parts you love most. And I’ve been rolled up like a fetus,
then dusted in ink and spit, then I took a bath in it.
I imagine you digging through the words on my back—
cracked up bitch, sweat-covered canvas, sex artist and slave,
slaving on the rained-on rooftop because I like it
wet.

I imagine my body looks a lot like heavy luggage.

I want your finger touching the parts of my skin
where the needle went in, so I can say
I’m clean. I want you licking up my letters and chokers
like my heart’s sketched in my pores. I want you
against my arteries, against all the rage that balloons
and barrels through my teeth when I think about your chest
and wonder if it’s clean, and if I’ll make you
filthy.

My legs read
that I’m flexible, and my lips are stained like bruises.
See the note scribbled on my forehead: I’m stamped for all of you.
But I’ll be immaculate. Sterilize
and pull out all my pictures
of dealers, abusers, and everyone that likes to die.
Examine how they were drawn. Tell me the artist.
I’ll be the graffiti wall in your city, and say you’ll notice all I scream
before you make me clean.

I can’t tell how it’ll feel
when we’re making photo albums of removed tattoos,
or if any will come from you.
I imagine you shirtless and shaken with a timeline tumbling
down to your navel and you tracing how long it hurt.
My tongue can be filing and grinding because I don’t want you to remember,

and I can say I love you
first,
and I can start the bath water.

Unashamedly sensual at times and soothingly rehabilitating, you've written quite the story here. Your metaphors never fail to impress me, and like your last poem on music, you find a way to stretch out the idea of love healing bad history through tattoos, and keep it interesting for 6 hypnotising stanzas. I'm not a big fan of quoted sentiments in poems, but by the end you've achieved such a comfort with the reader in whatever you're ready to throw that I think you could quote a tattoo and it could have a very positive effect (just a thought, in case you wanted to meddle with the poem a little).

Definitely one of my favourites that I've read in a while. I'm a sucker for a love poem.

Thank you, Nick. So you glad you enjoyed this. I've never really written a love poem exactly, so this was my first, twisted version of one. But glad the fact that it actually is a love poem came across. I was worried. I mean, maybe the ending made it obvious, but I never know. I have trouble getting my voice across.

The best poem I've read on this site.

Very powerful poem Angel. I really felt the desire to better one's self and overcome demons, maybe to "deserve" the love interest. Great theme and execution.

Bay, just brilliant! All of your poems have a kind of raw beauty about them. Such beauty in sadness, anger, regret. You string images together, binding me to your soul.

Some which had a great impact on me:

And I’ve been rolled up like a fetus,
then dusted in ink and spit, then I took a bath in it.

my heart’s sketched in my pores.

Inventive, chillingly honest. But I think this could sum all of your work up.

I imagine you digging through the words on my back—
cracked up bitch, sweat-covered canvas, sex artist and slave,
slaving on the rained-on rooftop because I like it wet.

You're growing at lightening speed! Laurie

I want you
against my arteries, against all the rage that balloons
and barrels through my teeth when I think about your chest
and wonder if it’s clean, and if I’ll make you
filthy.

Powerful, somewhat scary stuff. You have the ability to meld words, imagination and emotion in ways that carry me along for the ride. I feel it could be tightened and tuned overall and be even more effective. There are a few 'I's' and 'and's's and 'then's's- filler words that could be trimmed.

Thanks so much everyone. I am taken aback by the response to this piece. As I said, I don't really write love poems, so this was going in a different direction for me. (But I guess it's because I feel very strongly for this guy, which never happens to me.) This piece will be revised at some point and tightened some more, as J.R. pointed out. The "and's" and such serve a rhythmic purpose to the piece, but I do feel like I need to come back to this when I get some distance and a fresh perspective. Thanks again.

Why would you call this twisted, Bay? It isn't, it's honest and wonderful, and I'm so happy for you. Despite the dark imagery at which you are so adept, it's threaded with sparkling hope and is quite beautiful. For every wound there is a salve and it usually comes dressed in flesh, the doctor is in, I think. I do agree just a wee bit, and I mean wee, of tightening is in order, but time is your friend, let it be for a bit. Best of luck, love, and I mean that with every cell of my being.

Best,
Lisa

Love is cleansing and forgiving . . . . brilliantly expressed !

Angel,

As everyone has said, this is a very powerful love poem, but just a bit fatalistic. Otherwise, good poem.

Fatalistic? You'll have to explain that one to me because that is definitely not a part of this poem. I don't see that nor did I intend that.

Sorry Angel, I had to re-read your poem and realized I misread it the first time. It isn't fatalistic now that I've read it again. Please forgive me.

Oh, no, that's fine. I was just curious. It's always so interesting to see what other people get from your work and how they arrive there. I just started a poetry workshop today (which I'm SO excited about because I've never taken any kind of writing class before), and I know I'm going to get a lot of that. I can't wait! Feel free to share your interpretations.

What an uplifting and positive look at love, I truly enjoyed this one Bay.