Thread: The beauty of a crimson rose

The color was a stunning,
a luminous crimson red.
It was blossoming,
it was young,
it was fresh like Spring.
It’s petals were vibrant.
They were full of life
full of youth.
It was striking
it was vivid
it was beauty itself
it was the glory of life itself.

It was a magnificent red rose…

Inside this splendid rose
special qualities lay hidden…

There was purity,
there was clarity.
And there was more.
There was innocence
there was benevolence.
And there was freshness,
there was the rigor of youth
there was the zest for life…
The inner soul
of this magnificent red rose
was vivid, vibrant,
glowing and radiant.

I am quite impressed that you didn't run out of adjectives really. A rose. A little clique for me. Go deeper. Touch our senses with this rose.

I'm not a huge fan or poetry about nature and things of that sort unless there's a lot of feeling attached to it. I felt that this piece was lacking in that, and if you were going for a metaphor (and it felt like you were a little at the end), I don't think you quite achieved that. I would suggest going for more than just adjectives. Find what you were really feeling with this and use more of that in the poem. Feed the lines. Don't just describe. Just keep working and writing. That's the best thing to do.

too much it was/there was. It seemed bloated and wordy. The idea is sound i think, but could be executed better.