Thread: Anxiety is my deity

One I found buried deep in my hard drive! enjoy

anxiety is my deity
for it warns me
of when I am
in need of thee

pounding chest,
hallucinations gone bare
just a tingle at best

my life revolves
around one thing
the means to get
some mellow relief

intoxicated air
is what I like,
cancer without a care

rolled up or in a spoon
I could care less as long
as I get it before noon!

I'll take it through a straw
I'll chew it bare
and take it raw!

So long as dear deity
and all its wisdom
shall allow me

my prescribed medical drug
for the day shall fit
right nice and snug
in my special spot
for oversea trips

I like 80% of this - but struggled with the end. Do you mean oversea trips? And why is this the last line? Also interested on the dropping of rhyme in this last verse and verse four. And "noon" seems a little contrived to rhyme with spoon !

But really like the other verses with their compact rhythm and rhyme and dark humour. Not that I am about to take up smoking!

Thanks for posting . .

anxiety is my deity
for it warns me
of when I am
in need of thee - not really liking the "thee", plus no idea who thee is

pounding chest,
hallucinations gone bare
just a tingle at best

my life revolves
around one thing
the means to get
some mellow relief - i like this stanza, great wording, but it feels really chopy, perhaps some rearanging, mix up the flow a bit

intoxicated air
is what I like,
cancer without a care - ah, good line, but not very healthy bro

rolled up or in a spoon
I could care less as long
as I get it before noon!

I'll take it through a straw
I'll chew it bare
and take it raw! - heh, nice

So long as dear deity
and all its wisdom
shall allow me

my prescribed medical drug
for the day shall fit - this line confuses me, "day" seems out of place, not sure why the "day" should fit
right nice and snug
in my special spot
for oversee trips - i agree with the others, do you mean "oversea"?


good stuff here my friend, very clever... always enjoy reading your words.

Wood covered all of my concerns that I have about your very clever Poem...peace...Jul

wow thanks XD, your right I did mean oversea hehe, I see you points and shall tidy it up a tad - and I feel I should point out, I'm not a smoker lol - just wrote a poem about it except for one thing though - I figured thee would come clear later on in the poem ? as in his drugs lol.

Hi, Chief. First, the title attracted me. As I was reading through I noticed a stanza which had to, my ear, a perfect beat.

rolled up or in a spoon
I could care less as long
as I get it before noon

About the following. I would leave out the last line. I would like to see it end on the first line. I'm a bit confused about "overseas trip" Open to hearing explanation.

But overall, a good job! Laurie

lol well lets put it this way, you know the most common place drug dealers hide there drugs when going overseas? - and thanks