Thread: Once a While Ago

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vary nice, its short and meaningful vary nice job

Loving the short poem. This is beauty in economy - a simple metaphor, perhaps cliche, but executed in a way that is anything but. It's soft and unpretentious. Here are some thoughts:

Originally Posted by Bloggsworth

I think I knew you then - I absolutely love this first line.

Remember?

In the Earl’s Court days, I think a semi-colon here might feel more natural. All choice though.
the days before responsibility Great enjambment
stole my youth - When I flew Another excellent enjambment. "When" does not need to be capitalized.
kites on the winds of chance, Again, I think semi-colon here - or dash. Technically, they aren't required, but I think it would feel more natural.
soared free of those who I don't particularly like "soared free". That's the one spot I felt you dipped into the cliche. Maybe it's just "free"...
tethered me to their earth. "Tethered" is a great word choice. One idea, to fit with the context, it maybe keeping this in the line above - making it all one line. It would give the line the feeling of constraint which is what you are going for.