Thread: The Econolodge

Olly - I have no idea the science of it all! Ha, it might be wrong. I don't think it matters much. Also, I looked up "tunneled" vs. "tunnelled" and I haven't found any differences. Is one more proper than the other?

Bloggs - diddle was used with the sexual connotations in mind. I tried to interject a lot of subtle sexuality in this, so I'm glad you picked up on that.

Wow....This was a lot to take in...and there was a lot going on...I had to read this several times to catch all the subtle and not so subtle nuances . This had for me a surreal feeling to it that I found intriguing .Great job on the edit. My favorite part was the boy with the shaved legs chasing the dog....I mean that was sooo unexpected. Peace...Jul

OH yeah---did I say that I loved this piece? Well I do!
Peace...Jul

Glass: So admirable and inspiring, you exploring different genres of verse (you’re giving me ideas to branch out). I’ve read your piece and then Bishop’s several times and have found that you’ve picked up on her style, detailing truth, simplicity of language along with snippets of haunting imagery with Glassizms.

I do agree that “diddle” has a sexual connotation and that “fiddle” might be a better choice of word.

Of (slime) colored doors
I am reminded of a lagoon. Too slippery of a word to describe a door. I would re-think this.

and clouds squirmed through the air
like snakes on pale lily pads.

I think this imagery needs some work.
(Clouds squirming like snakes). Clouds might coil or curl.

it was like
gazing into an apple –
sick and rotting.

I loved this. Just enough of the gross. Very inventive.

There would only be the Econolodge
and across the street a gas station,

How I took to this immediately! Saw an Edward Hopper painting. The stark visualization had me right there as do his paintings.

And your ending was right in tune with the whole of the poem.

Clapping hands! Yours, Laurie

fire - always, thank you for such kind words and your time reading, my friend.

sm - always appreciate your insightful analysis. I changed "squirm" to "coil". I think that image (and alliteration) is much more powerful. On "diddle", I'm not sure why the sexual connotation would be unwanted there. I think it makes it more varied and mysterious.