Thread: my resignation (strong language)

edgewise, this is a wonderful critique, thanks much.

"for emergency yard sales squandered. The connection between this line and the above line is imo tenuous." yeah, that seems to be the general view, i will work on that

"wear your hat as you please (inside or out) This line falls flat." - you're right, and that bothers me some, but this line is here to pay proper tribute to walt whitman's hat, which is important to me (and perhaps only me) but it doesn't match the intensity of other content

"something off Aesop Rock's Labor Days" i had to look them up, i'm not a rap fan but i like what i hear, thanks for the referral!

"I dig the fact that the poem is abstract..." there seems to be a confusion of terms here. in literature, i take “abstract” to mean vague, unspecific, as in the levels of abstraction according to semantics (i.e. animal -> dog -> collie -> my collie, ellie may) i don’t think abstract means the same thing in literature as it does in other fields. i think surreal would be a better term, honesty, i’m just using methods straight out of the surrealist’s manifesto, and like you said, mixing surreal and real ideals together. in the poems i’ve been writing lately i’m trying to create surrealism that is more accessible, and realism with more personalized, imaginative symbolism, where meaning and sensation can trade places more easily, to speak the unspeakable, which is every poets endeavor i would guess… or not, i wouldn’t know their intentions.

thanks again, much appreciated

suddenly i'm feeling very red?

I read this a few days ago. I really liked the tone you were going for with this piece and i think the way you present the lines is very cool; it enhances the piece without seeming gimmicky. Great Job