Thread: "Here I go..." (first line)

Here I go,
scampering, barking,
turning circles.
Whining for attention.

Look over there.
A new thing to see.

I pounce on it,
biting,
pulling,
shaking it loose.
Gnawing with my teeth.

You smile and say,
good dog.
It makes me happy.
I look for something else.

Absolutely charming!!You captured the excitement of a playful pup perfectly. always a pleasure... Peace...Jul

Heh, very charming. I think the second stanza could be quicker though. Taking out words like "I...on it" and maybe make "biting, pulling, shaking" bite, pull, shake.

I think this is probably as close as we'll get to being in a dog's brain. For that, thank you!

I'm a dog person so this has a lot of appeal. Squalid Glass's suggestions would strengthen the idea of the dog's perspective, but it also works for me as it is.

Jul, thnx for the read and review. I'm glad you liked it. Thank you for the kind words.

SG, thnx for the read and review. I've thought of your remarks about changing the tense, and have decided not to incorporate them. Thank you for your interest.

CLN, thnx for your read and review. I glad you enjoyed it.

jeffrey