Thread: Precipitate

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This is rather, uh... precipitous.

Will come back tomorrow for a full critique. I found this piece, however, to be very ironic. Was it supposed to be? If not, then I blame... The time of night? Haha. Maybe tomorrow I'll read it differently.

I'm not a big fan on one sentence poems, but I think you did well here. The rhythm is solid all throughout, and your images are fresh. Very nice.

I too liked this one, and although it is one long sentence, you manage to avoid that over-long droning feel, you diversify the elements that transition to the next phrase - I agree also, fresh images throughout - and of course ironic, as you do say something new about snow : )
---todd

I was debating with myself wheter to subvert the unpunctuated nature of the poem by putting a comma in the address:

of 43 Corporation Street, Galashiels.

I have decided I will...... And have.

Incidentally, the title is a holding title until I think of something more apposite.

Heh. I think it plays perfectly into the line.

Blimey! You're up early! Do you live anywhere near Byers?

No clue where that is! I'm the prototypical insomniac. My family calls it the vampire disease.

Drive north to Denver, turn right onto the i75 and it's about 40-50 miles, it's NE of you. One of my old school acquaintances lives there, he has a deaf-blind son and I believe he lectures in computer science - Smallish world.

Very. I'm actually in Castle Rock right now. Going back to C. Springs on Thursday to resume class. Never been to Byers though.

I love your wonderful words (very pleasing aurally) and your vivid imagery. I also love the irony as mentioned by Todd. The following must just be me, as no one else seems to be having a problem, but I can't seem to make your breaks work fluidly no matter how I try. Again, the problem must lie with me, but I thought it was worth mentioning. Good show adding the coma. I enjoyed this.

Best,
Lisa