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Thread: Canticle of Light

  1. #1
    Mentor toddm's Avatar
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    Canticle of Light

    O Light! O Love!
    .....O Beauty Resplendent!
    O Brilliance encompassing
    .....all things else!
    O Refulgence Cascading!
    .....O Glittering Radiance!
    O Bliss! O Hope!
    .....O Gladness Unforeseen!
    O Great and Boundless Good!
    .....O Beauteous Nameless Joy!
    O Serene and Golden Light
    .....from a clear and cloudless sky!
    O Enchanted Blessedness!
    .....O Sight Most Fair!
    O Sweetness! O Treasure!
    .....O Loveliness Beyond Telling!
    O Lamp of Clear Wisdom!
    .....O Splendour Most Pure!
    O Light! O Love!
    .....O Life! O God!
    Last edited by toddm; 07-09-2011 at 07:53 AM.
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    Profound Writer Bloggsworth's Avatar
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    Methinks you misunderstood The Story of O...

  3. #3
    Mentor toddm's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bloggsworth View Post
    Methinks you misunderstood The Story of O...
    I suppose this is a joke, but I had no idea of what you were talking about so I looked it up - sorry I did - this obviously has nothing to do with that
    ---todd
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    Profound Writer Bloggsworth's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by toddm View Post
    I suppose this is a joke, but I had no idea of what you were talking about so I looked it up - sorry I did - this obviously has nothing to do with that
    ---todd
    I misjoked. It's very clever, but seemingly from another era altogether. It is beautifully sustained with a positive cornucopia of sparkling imagery, but I feel O verwhelmed by O's as they dominate the poem graphically. I'm not sure where it fits, but it is a keeper and should be used to drive creative writing tutors to distraction...

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    Mentor Firemajic's Avatar
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    Dear Todd- as I read your poem --I felt that this was a song of praise or thanks to God for all things beautiful...If you have ever read in the bible --from the Book of Psalms--you would know what I mean, King David wrote songs of praise to the Lord---And if I remember correctly --The Lord was pleased...your gorgeous poem has that "spiritual " feeling... I loved it. Thank you , as always--a real treat to read your work. Peace...Jul

  6. #6
    Mentor Firemajic's Avatar
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    Psalm # 96--- And Psalm #148---Songs of praise to the Lord...Peace...Jul

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    Mentor Squalid Glass's Avatar
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    I too think the "Os" need to be broken up a bit. Maybe just a few variations in places.
    Poets are always taking the weather so personally. They're always sticking their emotions in things that have no emotions.

    Check out my new blog, complete with new poetry! - http://www.writingforums.com/blogs/squalid-glass/

  8. #8
    Mentor toddm's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bloggsworth View Post
    I misjoked. It's very clever, but seemingly from another era altogether. It is beautifully sustained with a positive cornucopia of sparkling imagery, but I feel O verwhelmed by O's as they dominate the poem graphically. I'm not sure where it fits, but it is a keeper and should be used to drive creative writing tutors to distraction...
    I'm glad you found the content itself positive and beautiful - I realize that since every thought begins with "O" and ends with and exclamation point, it may be seen as excessive - but since it depicts an ecstatic mystical experience such as St. John of the Cross and others may have had, I feel that if there ever was an experience that overrides our senses and ordinary words and overflows into excesses in trying to describe what is in essence indescribable, it would be that -

    ---todd
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    Writer Dabnorfish's Avatar
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    It reminds me of something I read a short while ago, or at least part of something? I have a feeling it might be part of Childe Harold's Pilgrimage(?)
    [URL="http://www.amazon.co.uk/Silver-Snakes-ebook/dp/B0058KS94Q/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&m=A3TVV12T0I6NSM&s=digital-text&qid=1309991822&sr=1-1"]]Silver Snakes, Available for Kindle

  10. #10
    Mentor toddm's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Firemajic View Post
    Dear Todd- as I read your poem --I felt that this was a song of praise or thanks to God for all things beautiful...If you have ever read in the bible --from the Book of Psalms--you would know what I mean, King David wrote songs of praise to the Lord---And if I remember correctly --The Lord was pleased...your gorgeous poem has that "spiritual " feeling... I loved it. Thank you , as always--a real treat to read your work. Peace...Jul
    Thanks Jul, it was inspired by certain Biblical hymns and psalms and also liturgical litanies, which by their structure are intended to lead one into contemplation - the writings of John of the Cross and Teresa of Avila have also greatly inspired me - I hope some folks find this piece edifying - I admit, it's not going to be for everyone or to everyone's taste

    ---todd
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  11. #11
    Mentor toddm's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dabnorfish View Post
    It reminds me of something I read a short while ago, or at least part of something? I have a feeling it might be part of Childe Harold's Pilgrimage(?)
    I see that's by Lord Byron, although I've never heard of it - I will have to read it, thanks
    ---todd
    A growing collection of writings at my blog: Poems and Vignettes
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  12. #12
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    This poem gave me multiple O's, while reading it. This is like the O'd. Or perhaps ode. I think the O's provide to much visual distraction to the piece. Perhaps breaking it up into smaller stanzas and then using the O for each stanza. Might be better.

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    I OD'd on the O's. And while it does make me want to party like it's 1886, I'm afraid much of the poem is stocked with stock phrases ("O Beauty Resplendent", etc.). I get that you want to serve a dish of metaphysics in praise of dear JHWH, and that a repeating, chant-like poem mimics the feel and sound of hymns and psalms, but why not take that idea and update it, instead of doing what's been done and done and done? Gerard Manley Hopkins was a Jesuit poet in the age of Victoria, yet his poems are still fresh, still tinged with the avant-garde (a sort of grandfather to modernism). "The Windhover" and "The Golden Echo" are two examples.

  14. #14
    Mentor toddm's Avatar
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    Thanks jeffrey, for your ideas - I may try out what you say, just to see.

    MisterSpider - I don't recall you ever commenting on one of my poems before, so thanks for that - I only wish it could have been that one you liked, at least a little - I was flattered by the 1886 comment though -

    Please let me know who you know has also "done and done" this sort of piece before, I'd love to read them, so please let me know -
    I like Hopkins' work, thanks for the recommendations.

    The Os really don't bother me at all, and actually for me elevate the piece to exactly the height I wish it to be - this was from several years back, and perhaps it was one to keep to myself and not to share freely with others - but thanks for your insights.

    ---todd
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  15. #15
    Mentor Firemajic's Avatar
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    So pleased that you did not " keep it to yourself"....
    your style of writing has an elegance and flow that I crave. Peace...Jul

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